Drifted Away

For many years I have been writing and speaking about the problem of social isolation that is pervasive, even epidemic in American life. My interest comes from my own lived experience. I grew up in New York and Long Island in our large Irish Catholic family. Our life was full, busy and crowded. The were seven of us children in the Miller house. And we were also attached to a large, extended multi generational family. We lived in a working class neighborhood and had a full community in our Catholic Parish and school. Family life sprawled from infants to grandparents. We were connected and engaged with countless others growing up.

Of course it wasn’t idyllic. Since I was rarely isolated or alone it poked an urge to be more independent. Money was tight with our stay at home Mom and War hero Dad feeding seven of us while working for the Brooklyn Union Gas Company. We were loved. But by the time I finished high school I was itching for independence and a new start somewhere else. When I left for Providence College in Rhode Island, it was a delightful change for me. But it didn’t mean that I was alone and independent. It just meant that I had a new family surrounding me. It was a needed change and a wonderful time in my life. Such was true for my siblings and cousins as well.

But in adult life I unwittingly drifted into the American loneliness culture. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I miss being part of an extended family. I wrote about the matter along with Purdue colleague Dr. Glenn Sparks in ‘Refrigerator Rights: Creating Connections & Restoring Relationships’ We move away and look at screens. 

‘Loneliness and isolation: the number one health crisis in the country’  (Dr. Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General )

How do you find family? How can you create one? It’s a big reason why I returned to church as an adult. Good gatherings can be found.