Monday, West Lafayette, Indiana

Without giving away my exact political preferences (although regular readers here may be able to tell - or think they can) mostly what I am is averse to rigidity and narrow ideologues. And so, as we are all aware, cretins of both stripes occupy the bleachers of both the Democrats and Republicans. And they all make me gag!

I find the bombast of Al Sharpton as odious as that of Sean Hannity. Neither of these morons demonstrate any flexible thinking. Everything about them and their ilk (Ann Coulter & Moveon.org) is about attacking anyone not fitting into their preconceived ideas — which is the depth of stupidity. And as a citizen, I have had enough of over exposed stupidity in the media and in government.

With all that said, I do recall listening once to the millionaire blowhard Rush Limbaugh and agreeing with his analysis about the difference between Republicans and Democrats. I’m paraphrasing, but he said in effect that Republicans are generally unified by some few core beliefs — small government, economic conservativism, etc..

In contrast, he asserts that the Democrats are a motley collection of mixed ideas and are really not joined collectively by any particular principles. And to a large degree, although I have certainly voted for Democratic candidates in the past, and will again this fall, I think this is an accurate assessment. And I believe that it accounts for the fact that only 2 Democrats have been elected president in the past 46 years.

The Democrats, quite frankly have become a tiring and irritating soap opera. Whether or not you are a supporter of Obama, it has certainly been disconcerting to watch Bill and Hillary Clinton engaged in the juvenile antics of rejected teenagers making problems for the Democratic initiative. The latest is Bill Clinton apparently complaining about the role he has been assigned at the convention. This is a guy I used to admire. And in less than one year he has so turned me off that I want him to just disappear. I for one believe that he was personally responsible for sabotaging his wife’s campaign with his stupid antics during the primaries. As much as I admire Obama, I believe that Hillary Clinton would have secured the nomination if it wasn’t for the negative presence of her idiot husband.

It will be interesting to watch the show this week. Let’s see if Democrats can come out of this and into the campaign behaving like something other than recent Democrats.

Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

It’s a delight to announce that the book Refrigerator Rights: Our Crucial Need for Close Connection has been updated and rereleased! The new version has added a chapter and updated all of the research studies affirming our central thesis that between moving and media Americans are experiencing record levels of stress disorders, unprecedented throughout the world. In fact, we lead the world in depression, anxiety and stress related health ailments.

The book makes the argument that the driving force behind these problems is our lifestyle of separation and individuality, self-reliance and disconnection. It has helped countless readers rethink their priorities and the lifestyle they have chosen that puts too narrow a focus on their significant other and immediate family, marginalizing the need for extended relationships.

The research is clear, and I hope you will do yourself a favor and learn about your need for Refrigerator Rights Relationships.

Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

I am ashamed to confess that I m not very interested in the Olympics in China. Part of it I suppose is the consequence of the difference in time zones - I believe when it is prime time here it’s the next day in China. So in the early evening when I am interested in watching it seems that the events featured are women’s beach volleyball - which to me seems like an ESPN 2 feature that holds no interest for me. And don’t give me this hogwash that the appeal of beautiful young women athletes in bikinis is about the sport. Uh, not!

That said, two of the athletes that have broken through the maize of coverage are two young supermen. First, of course was the amazing Michael Phelps. As hoped before the games began, he outdid the legendary Mark Spitz with 8 gold medals and world records in the pool! Then there is the new world phenomenon Usain Bolt, the Jamaican rocket who blew away the competition in the sprints. Like Phelps, it is hard to imagine any individual athlete being so much more powerful than all the other world-class performers. But like other sports icons like Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan, these guys are made of different stuff.

Now here is the problem. All across the world, despite all evidence to the contrary, children with little aptitude will start spending hours swimming and running in order to become the next legend. And like 90% of the competitors on American idol, they would be well advised to spend their devotion and hours pursuing such dreams as education, reading and the arts. But call me a cynic, I just don’t see American parents losing their passion for finding ways for their beloved, unique children to achieve the American dream.

Tuesday, Indianapolis, Indiana

Living and working at Purdue University has given me an appreciation for the genius of engineers. Every day I am appreciative of the stunning advances in technology that have allowed me to work on my own terms living in the Midwest. Just a few years ago it was imperative that I reside either in New York or Los Angeles for my career. What a country.

Part of the thrill I have as a consumer is keeping up with the continuing advance of ever more breathtaking devices and technologies. And this week is no exception with the announcement that our scientists are getting close to developing…are you ready…INVISIBLE CLOTHING! Say what!?

That’s right, according to a story in the Associated Press, “researchers have demonstrated for the first time they were able to cloak three-dimensional objects using artificially engineered materials that redirect light around the objects.” It went on to suggest that this development would allow us to “hide people and objects from visible light.” Wow!

Not surprisingly the earliest applications will likely be military, which means that we could see a live battle on CNN with the only thing visible are the smoke from the weapons and the targets. And then there will be commercial applications as well. Certainly the private detective business has to be hugely buzzed about this prospect. And even their spouse cheating targets can stay ahead of the divorce authorities. What a world!

Friday, Providence, Rhode Island

With the opening of the Olympics in China, television has begun doing what it does best: bringing astonishing images and affecting stories into our homes from the other side of the globe. And it does it in high definition in real time. Is this a great time or what?

And because it is China - the headline nation of the new millennium - there are countless side stories about the economic and political implications of our relations with the emerging super power. President Bush arrived for his controversial appearance and immediately got into a diplomatic spitting match about China’s human rights record. And, of course he was me with sharp blowback and told MYOB!

Of course is nothing surprising about this. It seems to me that the Chinese leaders are twisted in a real knot trying to find a compromise between how to function like a global leader while trying to maintain control of their restless population. In their tradition of social management through repression is unsustainable - it simply cannot fly.

I became friends with a brilliant young engineering graduate student at Purdue who, upon receiving his Ph.D., returned to China to participate in the emerging opportunities and business there. I asked him one time about the issue of Communist control and the repression of personal freedoms. His answer was interesting. He told me that almost everyone in his age group was excited about the future of China, and waved his hand dismissively about the old communist guard. He said bluntly, “we just really waiting for those old guys to die off.” He was full of optimism for the future, a future that would in fact conform, he believed, to more Western norms of personal liberty.

I don’t know if I will live to see it, but it is certainly my hope and prayer that if China is in fact destined to be the world’s leading economic superpower, that they behave with grace and mercy toward the rest of us.

We shall see!

P.S. By the way, look at the picture. Doesn’t the cop look like the psychiatrist on Law & Order:SVU?

Thursday, Providence, Rhode Island

Finally!! The other shoe dropped and Brett Favre is now with the New York Jets.

For weeks the legendary Packers Quarterback was in the middle of a soap opera of his own making. After twice retiring from the team and twice coming back to play, Favre gave the team fits about his plans for the future. And for several tense days he was hanging around the Packer’s training camp, doing what the other guys are doing: running sprints, practicing his throws. You know, the usual stuff of a preseason athlete.

However…

Obviously there is a difference in this case. Favre’s presence was, quite frankly, an embarrassment to the team and millions of sports fans everywhere. With the exception of some percentage of fanatic Brett fans in Green Bay, he became unwanted in Packer Land. As a result of his approach to seeking reinstatement, Favre has become a poster child for the self serving athletic superstar - putting self interest above all else - even at the expense of other people.

Favre has generally become persona non grata in the Green Bay organization. And football fans who formally had great admiration for him have now lost their good feeling about Favre. The reason for the animosity is that it was just a few months ago that Favre made a tearful and adamant announcement that he was retiring from football. The fans and the organization celebrated his great career and wished him good luck. And they did what you would expect - they moved on with plans for the future of their franchise.

But now Favre pulls a fast one and decides that he changed his mind. No matter the impact on the management, his replacement quarterback and the teammates - it’s about what is in his interest - a gloried Hall of Fame millionaire celebrity who has second thoughts about his certain decision.

I always admired Brett Favre. But as far as I am concerned, I am happy the Packers shipped him out. He deserves boos for his nonsense.

Wednesday, Indianapolis, Indiana

There are times when I have an innate confidence that science and technology has pretty much mapped out human reality. I have a sense of what is known, what is unknown and what might probably become known in the future. Once in a while, however, I do get disappointed with the expertise of experts. Yesterday provided a riveting example of the limitations of human knowledge.

A a team of scientists from Scotland, wandering around remote areas of Africa discovered a heretofore unknown community of gorillas. These primates, as most of us are aware, have been diminishing and even threatened with extinction. So it was pretty remarkable that these scientists stumbled upon an unknown gathering of these creatures.

Ah… but here’s the rub. This previously unknown guerrilla community numbered… are you ready?

125,000 Gorillas!

Are you kidding me? 125,000 creatures that had escaped the notice of primatologists until a few weeks ago. This represents the population of New Haven, Connecticut! It would be like finding out that, until this week, no one really knew of the existence of East Los Angeles, Cedar Rapids, Iowa or Cambridge, England!

How did this happen? I mean, I could understand this oversight were not for the invention of…say…helicopters and satellite photographs. 125,000 gorillas is more than the population of Waco, Texas and Flint, Michigan. Let’s face it, this is a fairly significant oversight by the entire community of zoologists and their colleagues in the animal sciences.

Now, of course, I’m delighted that they found these magnificent creatures. And it makes me wonder if, given the suspicion that primates (although they don’t speak to us in our native tongue) are nonetheless capable of some higher order thinking, exercised their intention to avoid humanity.

\And who could blame them? Their sibling creatures have been the victims of systematic eradication by human beings for decades. I can almost imagine the reaction of the first guerrilla to see these approaching scientists.

“Oh, that’s just great!”

Let’s face it, being “discovered” was probably not good news for these gorillas.

Tuesday, Indianapolis, Indiana

As we approach the grim anniversary of the Terrorist Attacks of September 11, 2001, I am still appalled every time I visit New York City that the glorious Twin Towers are gone. Sally and I were in the city that Fall, and I can remember looking at the smoldering mess from a spot near the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel on the New Jersey side. It was mind boggling to say the least.

The World Trade Center was among my favorite places to visit in the city. When I was young I had occasion to go to the top of the Empire State Building and see the phenomenal view of Manhattan from up there. And of course no one could visit the Empire State Building without imagining King Kong perched on the top swatting at planes. But The World Trade Center was even more unique. Riding the elevator to the top, the view from the lower part of Manhattan was breathtaking. You could see all all the Burroughs of New York and way out into the harbor where for many generations ships entered New York City, carrying people and freight.

But there was one visit in particular that sticks out in my mind. I had just started my comedy career in the late 1970’s and had occasion to go to the top of the Twin Towers. In particular, I was mesmerized as I looked across from one tower to the other about the staggering (albeit ill advised) achievement of daredevil Philippe Petit, the French high wire act that did something unimaginable.

It was 34 years ago this week that Philippe Petit somehow managed to stretch a tight rope from one tower to the other and then walk across between them! He and his accomplices actually used a bow and arrow to fire fishing line from one tower to the other, and then used that to guide across the steel cable he would walk upon! Then, early in the morning he ventured out and crossed back and forth, walking on the wire, several times!

When a police officer responding to the report saw what Petit was doing, he described it as “spellbinding." Ah…you think!? He said that Petit was actually “dancing along the wire.” He was amazed that Petit was smiling and clearly fearless, on several occasions jumped completely off the cable and settled back down flawlessly. WOW!

To imagine this feat at that dizzying height is simply beyond comprehension. Of course, Petit was arrested shortly afterward but became an instant celebrity and legend in New York City.

When I think about the heinous act committed against us that destroyed those magnificent towers are trying to turn my mind’s attention to the joyous feet of Philippe Petit and his dance between the towers.

Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

If I had to summarize what I do, I suppose you could say that I’m in the “what does this mean?” business. In other words, as a psychotherapist, a minister and (even) as a comic, my life’s work is to trade in observing what is going on in human living and interpreting what it means.

As a therapist I interpret this meaning for the person I am seeing in counseling. As a minister, through teaching and preaching, I try to bring meaning to the lives of the people sitting before me, by using the history and inherited perspectives offered in the testimony of believers and the sacred writings. And even as a comic, I satirize and ridicule, for the purpose of interpretation, the goings-on in the world around us.

This work offers a steady diet of difficult intellectual challenges. Because, as we all realize, the meaning of certain events just escapes logic and interpretation. Unexpected illness and death, terrible setbacks and unexpected eventualities are all an assault on higher reason. We accept this as a feature of human life, but, from the smartest to the dumbest of us, it’s troubling to our core that we don’t know why we are in such straits.

When I was a graduate student at Union Theological Seminary in New York City, one of my favorite professors was the biblical scholar, Dr. Phyllis Trible, who had a book entitled “God’s Fierce Whimsy!” To me, this title perfectly captured the insanity of our reality - the reality that we are vulnerable creatures whose principle tool for coping is, ironically, logic and sanity.

The older I get, and the more experience I accrue with helping people, the more I focus not on discerning meeting, but rather on response, reaction and coping. No one has the answer to why something horrific happened to you. But there is lots of excellent, available counsel about how you can then live in the aftermath of these experiences.

For me it is my Christian faith, its promise of hope, and, most importantly, its command to be a person who loves others, even as I roll through the whimsy of my own life.

Hope you have a great weekend that is peaceful and uneventful.

Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

I’ve been practicing counseling and psychotherapy for 20 years. And despite my busy schedule and travel I continue to see people seeking help. On several occasions I have been asked if I ever feel burned out listening to the problems of others. In fact, one reader sent me a note sometime ago that said the following:

Dear Dr. Will
I admire your work and dedication to healing troubled people. I was wondering, are there ever cases where you throw in the towel? Are there some patents who are so screwed up that you admit they cannot be helped? Does a therapist ever give up? If so, then what?
Sincerely,
Leonard, Chicago, Illinois

Dear Leonard,
Thanks for the inquiry and it is a good question. Although you did not mention this in your letter I was wondering if this applied to anyone you know personally? The fact is there is always progress that can be made with a person, assuming they keep coming back to meet with their therapist. Certainly there are individuals who are so unbalanced and resistant to counsel that their progress is painfully slow. Some people are unable to progress because they have personality problems. Others stay stuck because they have organic mental problems. Still others are constantly confronted by bad circumstances that keep them down. All we can do is encourage them to keep trying - keep pushing - don’t give up!

Self-defeating: You show up at a formal wedding wearing gray sweatpants
Life-defeated: On your way to a wedding your car suddenly catches fire

Self-defeating: At an important work gathering you loudly mock the religion of the company’s top client
Life-defeated: Immediately after leaving a prayer meeting you are mugged

Self-defeating: When introduced to a vision impaired person you comedically mug to get laughs from others
Life-defeated: After leaving a hearing test at your doctor’s office you are struck by an object and blinded

Self-defeating: After a bad call at your young son’s soccer game you run on the field and assault the referee
Life-defeated: You reluctantly volunteer to referee a school soccer game and are assaulted by a deranged parent

Self-defeating: Despite complaints from neighbors you keep a rank smelling compost pile in your front yard
Life-defeated: An hour before hosting a big party the sewer backs up into your living room

Self-defeating: You always answer your cell phone in the movie theater
Life-defeated: Because you politely turned off your cell phone during a movie you miss a radio station promotion awarding you two million dollars

Self-defeating: You keep untrained pit bulls loose in your poorly fenced yard
Life-defeated: While running away from a vicious dog you accidently run into a car and are successfully sued by both the car owner and the dog’s owner

Self-defeating: At the office Christmas party you make romantic overtures to your boss’ underage daughter
Life-defeated: You are inadvertently hit by a flying glass meant for someone else and you lose an eye

Self-defeating: You have not mowed your grass in seven months
Life-defeated: While wandering through tall grass your dog is attacked by a nesting wild animal

Self-defeating: At the supermarket checkout line you create a diversion and cut to the front of the line
Life-defeated: The line at the supermarket is so long that your milk spoils and you become violently ill and are hospitalized