Tuesday, Kentland, Indiana

I’ve spent the majority of my life on the East Coast. Between New York and Long Island where I grew up and New England well went to school and lived for a time, I had little or no exposure to the Midwest. For good part of the past decade, however, I have lived in Indiana. My wife Sally grew up here and so now I have relatives who are Hoosiers. I’ve come to love them all.

Among my new family, one of my favorites is our niece and nephew, Brad & Jodi who are farmers. They grow crops and raise livestock and it’s been a great experience learning about what they do. For starters, I’ve been amazed at how technologically sophisticated farming has become. The crops are planted using incredible machines equipped with computers and global positioning systems. The care of their livestock utilizes the latest science about animal health and growth. I love going to the farm to simply watch how they do what they do.

Over the years we have celebrated the years of their bounty crop And we have prayed for them during the years when weather - too much rain or no rain at all - ruined their crops and meant that they essentially earned no money. What a life! But aside from the unpredictability of whether and other unexpected eventualities, what is most impressive to me is the steadfast commitment to life informing requires. The lifestyle allows very little flexibility for days off or time away. The livestock doesn’t take vacation and attending of the crops has its own in flexible schedule. Brad & Jodi, alone with their four children don’t miss a day of work because they cannot miss a day of work.

The demands and responsibilities that are inculcated with the children and farm families are unique. I don’t know of any other family lifestyle that teaches children life lessons in such broad strokes as that of a farm family. Farm kids learn about life, death and birth control or ability in ways that are profound, unlike anything I have never experienced. At a time and in a society where so many children grow up with a sense of entitlement, assuming that their needs will be taken care of by others, the lessons gained by growing up on a farm are probably what more of our kids need.

- Your farm does not have a barn

- The only tools you have in your barn are a hammer and a phillips head screwdriver

- You often plant crops while drunk

- You wear a jacket and tie every day

- You often feed your cattle table scraps

- Because of your neglect, your goats and sheep have mingled and bred

- Despite the consequences you insist on taking your vacation time during the harvest

- You keep forgetting to neuter the male calves and now you have two dozen mature bulls roaming your land

- Although your farm is in Minnesota, you planted 200 acres of bananas

Friday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

When I was a kid my brothers and I participated in both the Cub Scouts and the Boy Scouts. I don’t have many memories of the Cub Scouts, except a few fleeting visions of snacks and den mothers. But the Boy Scouts are a great memory for me. I actively participated for about four years. I didn’t achieve any great heights, but loved the experiences of camping and fun at our weekly meetings. I was fortunate to have terrific scout leaders, including my father. My brother Donald climbed the ladder higher than me, including participation in something the scouts call “Order of the Arrow.” I never knew what this was, except that it was elite and they talked about secret things that I was not allowed to know.

Even after all these years, and despite my less than passionate participation, I do remember the values that were central to being a Boy Scout. Part of what we had to memorize was the Scout Law, which consisted of a dozen essential principles that define the good Boy Scout.

We were called to be:

Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedience, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent

Looking at this list, it wasn’t a big leap for me because growing up in a religious family (Roman Catholic) these values were utterly consistent with what I was hearing on Sunday. In fact we were commanded to live every one of these characteristics. There was really no distinction between what I was taught in my church and what I was told in the Boy Scouts handbook.

What this indicates, even among the most cynical, is that there seems to be a well-established tradition of the characteristics that make up a functional society. People who are trustworthy, friendly, cheerful and reverent, for instance, or people who make society function well. In each one we have gorged on the celebration of the individual and our “rights” to be who we desire to be, it turns out to be a destructive indulgence. Living in close proximity to others demands that we abide by these laws that were stated so simply by the Boy Scouts of America.

And perhaps there is a simpler way to describe this approach to human loving: “do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

Or perhaps it can be expressed, “love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

However it is expressed, from the profound theological language of the Bible, with a sweet simplicity from the Boy Scout handbook, society needs to follow such rules as these if we are going to survive together.

- You have never washed your uniform

- You of applied to receive the “autopsy" merit badge

- During your knot tying test you made a noose

- After learning to start a campfire at a scout meeting, you immediately burn down a neighbor’s garage

- For your cooking merit badge you barbecued roadkill squirrel

- An elderly woman asks you to help her across the street and you lead her into oncoming traffic and laugh

- When you are asked to clean up the campsite you give the Scout leader the finger

- You post videos on Youtube of other Scouts using the latrine

- When your Boy Scout troop is sent to help victims of a flood, you go off on your own and loot evacuated homes

- Instead of a standard issue Boy Scout knife, you carry a 5 inch switchblade

Wednesday, Indianapolis, Indiana

I would rather not . . .

Now that we know who the candidates are for the fall presidential election, the debate about the country’s future begins in earnest. Watching the news each day the emotional heat surrounding each side can make your head explode. There are times when I feel the need to just pull away to regain a more balanced perspective. I confess that I have a fairly quick gag response to shallow, partisan spin. However the answer is not to detach completely. I’m committed to remain engaged and listen to both sides, keeping an open mind to decide what would be best.

However, I know many people who have chosen not one side or the other, but a third way, to essentially ignore the entire process. In a way I can’t blame them. But there is a line that can be crossed moving from healthy detachment, motivated by the need for a rest, and living in denial. I guess I’m old school and I believe every citizen needs to be engaged. But for many the acrimony and rancor that spews from each side is enough to make many of us flee.

There are people who simply shun conflict altogether. These are the people who avoid the tension that any opposition brings - they avoid the problem. Some go to such extreme lengths to deflect conflict that they would rather suffer unfairly then stand up to another person or face an uncomfortable situation. In extreme cases, mental health professionals refer to this as a personality trait that is self-defeating and pathological.
It is called Avoidant Personality Disorder. Some of its symptoms include:

A long-standing and complex pattern of feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to what other people think about them, and social inhibition. It typically manifests itself by early adulthood and includes a majority of the following symptoms:

- avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection
- is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked
- shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed
- is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations
- is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy
- views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
- is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

- When you hear your name called you turn away

- You have traveled to another state rather than face an angry relative

- When given a surprise birthday party you suffer a heart attack

- When someone raises their voice you rapidly blink your eyes

- Your house has very few interior lights

- You rarely go out without wearing a hooded sweatshirt

- At least one a day you sprint away from a perceived threat

- Most days you wear a disguise

- Whenever you enter a room you walk in back first

- You always wear dark sunglasses

Tuesday, Lafayette, Indiana

As I look back on my education it seems strange to me that one of the few dates I remember from my history class, was that the Magna Carta or signed in the year 1215. And it was on this day in that year that this momentous document was in fact enacted. Although I was fuzzy about the actual details of the Magna Carta, I do recall that it is considered the foundation for our present system of law. Specifically it limited for the first time the power of a monarch to rule based on their will. In fact, it asserted that even the king or queen was subject to the rule of law.

While the idea may seem quaint to us today, for most of human history it was the will of a singular leader, or regal family that dictated how life would be lived by the rest of the people under their influence. The Magna Carta represented a singular turning point acknowledging that the populace of any society should not be held at the mercy of of the will of one individual. The obvious danger of this system was that, as has been well documented, too many individual monarchs were, quite candidly mentally ill. This meant that the general population lived with the luck of the draw that at the time they were alive their king or queen was not a complete nutcase. And of course this could not be guaranteed.

One of the most significant details of the Magna Carta was the guarantee that individuals have the right to appeal the decision that was levied against them when convicted of a crime. And today we are well aware of the fact that the appeal process is a foundation of modern justice. It affords a modicum of freedom from the Wednesday of a corrupt trial, a cruel judge and an inept jury. So although it may seem to be a fuzzy detail in our memory from our high school history class, let’s take a moment to remember and celebrate the year 1215 and the Magna Carta that has done so much to enable us to live the life of freedom that we enjoy.

And it is especially fitting that on this day in 1966 the Supreme Court established the now famous Miranda rights warning, demanding that anyone arrested the apprised of their entitlement to know the charges against them and to have an attorney represent them. The spirit of the Magna Carta lives on as we struggle to find the balance between maintaining law and order and holding onto our freedom, and protection from cruel and capricious prosecution. While many become frustrated with those who manipulate these rights and avoid their due punishment, these protections are fundamental to our lifestyle of liberty and protection from the government.

- Enter any home in the kingdom & demand porridge

- Insist that anyone he saw in the street folk dance with him

- Assign a member of the staff to hold his drool cup

- Give any member of the parliament a wedgie with no consequences

- Throw rocks at passersby for fun

- Refuse to bathe for years at a time

- Belch at state dinners

- Require his children to trim his nose hair upon request

- Invade a nearby country for the purpose of bringing home desired cuisine

- Throw spitballs at legislators who disagreed with him

- Award land estates to the pet of his choice

Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

On a busy day yesterday in New York City the normally unflappable crowd stopped to stare at two individuals who scaled a skyscraper as a way to attract attention for their protest about global warming. While people watched from the street and nearby windows, these two guys climbed, brick by brick, the sheer face of the New York Times Building. There was no net; there were no security straps. Finger by finger, toe by toe, they literally inched their way to the top. And of course they were immediately arrested.

When I see stories like this, and other accounts of “daredevils” I’m amazed at the gumption and utter disregard for their safety. In my opinion while they are certainly fearless, they are also either pathologically confident or suicidal. It seems to me that scratching your way up the sheer side of a skyscraper indicates a faulty will to live! I just can’t imagine having a constitution that could, like Robbie Knievel, fly a motorcycle over 40 cars. I get woozy three steps up on a ladder in my house!

By far the most amazing fete I ever heard of had to be the French tightrope walker who snuck up to the top of the World Trade Center, fired a line from one tower to the other, and then literally walked across the divide at the sickening height of a mile in the air. Holding one of those giant poles that these guys use for balance he braved what must’ve been unimaginable wind to make it across the divide. At around that same time there was another man who leapt off the top of the World Trade Center and parachuted to the street below! Holy mackerel! Can you imagine doing that yourself?

While the world has always had its unusual souls willing to try death-defying stunts I wonder if there is any data that suggests these antics increase during times of worry. In the face of daunting social challenges, financial pressures, war and other depressing news, maybe it incites more people to spit in the eye of death. While I realize that what they are doing is illegal, and that they certainly face arrest, perhaps they’re doing a public service by allowing us to live vicariously through their courage, even if it is ill advised. You can be sure that I will satiate my desire for control and power only through such vicarious stories. I hope you make the same choice.

And by the way, all of the remarkable individuals I mentioned lived to tell their tale.

Signs that you have a faulty will to live:

- You routinely approach strange pit bulls to pet them

- You frequently take walks through the woods during hunting season wearing brown clothing

- Although visually handicapped you buy a motorcycle

- You eat a tuna sandwich that has been left in the sun since yesterday

- While attending the ultimate fighting championship you make an obscene gesture to one of the contestants

- You begin dating the daughter of an organized crime leader

- You agree to block the path of a naval ship in a dinghy as part of a Greenpeace protest

- You take a vacation in Iraq to “see for yourself what’s going on.”

- Although you have bad knees you travel to Spain to run with the bulls

- Despite being hearing-impaired you regularly take strolls along the railroad tracks

Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

Married With Children was one of the fledgling Fox Television Network’s early hit shows. It debuted in 1987 and ran for ten years. This hugely popular satire depicted the Bundy family. Al Bundy, a high school football star who never went further in life, works in a show store and is perpetually miserable about his life and unrealized dreams. His wife Peg is a seductive frustrated housewife who is herself miserable as well. The oldest daughter Kelly is a promiscuous dimwit and son Bud, while intelligent and promising, is the target of ridicule by the rest of the family.

The stupidity and dysfunction of the Bundy’s is set in contrast to their neighbors Steve and Marcy, whose financial and career success infuriates the jealous Al. The Bundy’s typify the parents who make all the wrong choices for themselves and in the guidance of their children. Everyone viewing the show understands why they are frustrated and perpetually fail. The laughs in the show, and they were many and uproarious, come as a result of shining a light on this nightmare of an American family. For those viewers who are laughing at the pathetic state of the Bundy’s, it must be a curiosity wondering about the reaction to Married With Children by those living in families whose real life is just as messed up as those depicted on the show.

Any television comedy will be successful if it is executed with terrific writing and good acting. And Married With Children is certainly no exception. But there are certain sitcoms that rise above the norm when they strike a chord with the culture. For instance, the show All In The Family touched a nerve with the country with its depiction of bigotry and racial tension. And so it is with Married With Children. It begs the question of why the show stood out.

When Married With Children came on the scene in the 1980’s, the country was witnessing the rise in power and popularity of the Christian religious right. Religion became a strong political force in local and national elections and culminated in the takeover of the conservative Republican Congress in 1994. Among the issues central to this conservative voice was the worry about the state of the American family. On the heels of nearly 2 decades of record-breaking divorces, there was a strong reaction to the normalization of “broken” and blended families. In some quarters there was a strong critique and even condemnation of anything that diverged from the traditional nuclear family, featuring a working father, a homemaking wife living with their biological children. Deviance from this model was considered suspect at best.

And so it seems that Hollywood had an answer for what they perceive to be the self-righteous and judgmental view of what constitutes the “right kind” of family. It is as if Married With Children spit in the eye of those who were trying to assert that the only family that was legitimate was the traditional nuclear family. It’s as if they said, “okay, we will give you a stay-at-home mother, a working father and two children living in the suburbs. And we will show you how toxic that family can become. Married With Children demonstrated but the structure of the family was irrelevant if the judgment of the family was skewed. And given the fact that at the time many millions of individuals were living in nontraditional families, it is no wonder that Married With Children struck a chord of recognition and evoked such laughs.

- On most nights dinner in your house involves peanut butter and jelly

- You are the first child in your family to reach 21 year old without going to jail

- Your parents let you drive the family car to the store when you were nine years old

- To punish you, your parents make you run as they throw rocks at you

- Your earliest memories include being taken to McDonald’s to eat after 10 o’clock at night

- On more than one occasion you have seen your father sneak money out of the church collection plate

- Your mother often spits

- You are allowed to start smoking cigarettes when you were seven years old

- After you are suspended from school your parents threaten to kill your principal

- Your pastor told your father that your family had a “defective moral compass.”

Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

It seems that finally, the era of the nut job pastors is coming to an end. The righteous repudiation of “Reverend’s” Wright, Hagee and Rod Parsley by the candidates is long overdue. These entertainers, getting their ego’s stroked as celebrities in their churches have hidden behind their robes and…especially scandalous…behind the cross, the Christian symbol of humility, in order to attack, judge and instigate hate among the hungry seekers in the pews.

Years ago the Christian Coalition was launched and their intentions sounded noble. As one of their leaders suggested, they were not looking to dominate politics, they just “wanted a place at the table.” And that is more than fine; it is as it should be. The voice of moral authority is essential for a nation’s leadership. However, over the past two decades the role that religion has often played is so out of balance, dominated by the most legalistic and inflexible voices, that it has become a scourge. Not only are non believers swayed, they are repelled by the self righteous anger of, especially Christian clergy.

When did it settle in that evangelical theology became synonymous with Republican ideology? Who made the decision that mainline protestant churches were aligned with the liberal ideology of the Democratic party? It’s all nonsense, and destructive at that. It bears little resemblance to the message of faith, hope and love that is the centerpiece of the preaching of Jesus.

The church in the public square might simply be embarrassing if it wasn’t turning so many seeking souls away from the joy and comfort that is actually offered in the real lives of ordinary believers across all the denominations each sabbath. The distance between what actually goes on in most churches - caring, service and love - is a chasm away from how the Church is heard in the media in public.

- Your pastor wears a large diamond pinky ring

- His children are instructed to address him as “the Reverend Doctor Father”

- Your pastor has written 10 books (although none have been published)

- When reading a transcript of sermons you realize that the most common phrase is “the Lord told me…”

- Their front tooth is embossed with a ruby

- When you spot your pastor at the grocery store they are wearing an embroidered robe

- Your pastor drives a Bentley with a clergy license plate

- When preaching they arrange one piercing light shine down from above illuminating their face

- When attending church conferences out of town your pastor insists on flying on a private jet

Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

It seems that finally, the the era of the nut job pastors might be coming to an end. Since the news has been covering the reprehensible statements of so many high profile ministers, the public has developed an appropriate gag reflex for the hypocrisy and rancor of these hate mongers in robes. The righteous repudiation of “Reverend’s” Wright, Hagee and Rod Parsley by the candidates is long overdue.

From my point of view, these entertainers are masquerading as “pastors,” getting their ego’s stroked as celebrities in their churches. Some have hidden behind their clergy robes and…what is especially scandalous…behind the cross, the Christian symbol of humility, in order to attack, judge and instigate hate among the hungry seekers in the pews. They whip up the fervor and passions of the frustrated, powerless people in the pews by using emotional manipulation and provocative speech. They get carried away and before long there is a record of their hate speech that, even if taken out of context, is shameful.

Years ago the Christian Coalition was launched and their intentions sounded noble. As one of their leaders suggested, they were not looking to dominate politics, they just “wanted a place at the table.” And that is more than fine, it is as it should be. The voice of moral authority is essential for a nation’s leadership. However, over the past two decades the role that religion has often played is so out of balance, dominated by the most legalistic and inflexible voices, that it has become a scourge. Not only are non believers swayed, they are repelled by the self righteous anger of, especially Christian clergy.

Well, you got the picture.

When did it settle in that evangelical theology became synonymous with Republican ideology? Who made the decision that mainline protestant churches were aligned with the liberal ideology of the Democratic party? It’s all nonsense, and destructive at that. It bears little resemblance to the message of faith, hope and love that is the centerpiece of the preaching of Jesus.

The church in the public square might simply be embarrassing if it wasn’t turning so many seeking souls away from the joy and comfort that is actually offered in the real lives of ordinary believers across all the denominations each sabbath. The distance between what actually goes on in most churches - caring, service and love - is a chasm away from how the Church is heard in the media in public.

I just wish some of these “Pastors” would sit down and shut their big yappers!

- The chair in his office sits 2 feet higher than the visitors chair

- Your pastor wears a large diamond pinky ring

- His children are instructed to address him as “the Reverend Doctor Father”

- Your pastor has written 10 books of theology (although none have been published)

- When reading a transcript of sermons the most common phrase is “the Lord told me…”

- The pastor’s front tooth is embossed with a ruby

- You spot your pastor at the grocery store & he’s wearing a papal hat & embroidered robe

- Your pastor drives a Bentley with a clergy license plate

- When preaching the pastor arranges a piercing light to shine down illuminating their face

- When attending church conferences out of town the pastor insists on flying on a private jet

Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

When people feel helpless they can become desperate; and desperate people become dangerous.  As the economy continues to convulse and with gas prices at four dollars a gallon, millions of working class people are clearly feeling desperate. This situation means that we need to be on the alert for more frequent acts of public anger. It is a challenge for all of us to work hard to keep our cool in spite of provocations to lose our patience. Certainly this is a challenge for me, because patients is not one of my gifts.

It has been my experience, however, that when a provocation is so extremely excessive that it actually tends to overwhelm me and shutdown my reaction. As we are does it sounds, paying three dollars a gallon for gas irritated me no end; but four dollars a gallon is so extreme that I just shake my head in resignation. I do find it a strange phenomenon that small in your occasions tend to set me off more than extreme provocations. However, whether minor or major I have very little patience when I feel that people are being taken advantage of, that my anger is righteous. Then my impatience becomes biblical.

Biblical anger is usually described using the term wrath. Wrath is more than simply losing your temper. It is a deeply held anger that can become an emotional wild fire. It is strongly associated with divine anger - the wrath of God, for instance. It intimates retribution - anger in response to a wrong. It has the feel of being rightful rage. And while this is valid for God, there is a danger when people rise to the level of indignant wrath. By assuming a position of certainty and entitlement about your anger you commit a sin of wrath. At its root, it is connected to pride - I have a right to be angry. I am in the right and know that my anger is justified. This is always a dicey assumption for human beings to hold.

At a time in our country when so many of us are feeling the frustrations about financial pressures on top of the worries about the security of our jobs and uncertainties about how we are behaving around the world, it is natural to succumb to the emotions of frustration and anger. But for most of us, who are without power to change the larger situation, this anger, even righteous wrath is essentially a futility. All we can do is participate when we can (through our vote, for instance) and let the rest of it go. I am focusing on my work and my opportunities for service as I await for things to get better. It’s the only way I know to maintain a sense of peace in the midst of the anxious uncertainties. Where are you on the wrath scale?

1. You seethe for months at the local supermarket manager after he fails to resupply the seedless grapes in a timely fashion

2. You feel snubbed at least twice every day

3. You have perfected the facial expression of glaring

4. When irked your voice involuntarily lowers two full octaves

5. You have made so many complaint reports to the police that they immediately recognize your voice

6. When speaking at the local Toastmasters meeting you choose to berate the audience for perceived offenses

7. Within a few minutes of observing their behavior you regularly conclude that an individual is going to hell

8. After an anger episode you need to change your sweat-drenched clothing

9. When cut off on the road you chose to follow the offender rather than meet your scheduled appointment

10. You often have dreams where God is telling you about the sinfulness of people you know

Wednesday, Atlanta, Georgia

Yesterday I confessed that for many years I have been an anxious flyer. This in spite of the fact that dialogue nearly 150,000 miles a year in the air. Most flights on pretty calm. But my anxiety becomes heightened anytime I experience a particularly turbulent or otherwise scary flight. And of course, there was that story I related about the disgruntled 19-year-old flight attendant who actually set fire to his plane while it was still IN FLIGHT in order to force its landing! But you kidding me!? As far as I’m concerned, this bonehead should be forced to take his next flight while strapped to the wing of a plane. Let’s see how he likes that route!

In any event, after being involved in any harrowing, traumatic experience that causes you to fear for your life, it is not uncommon to experience what therapists diagnose as an “adjustment disorder.” Adjustment disorders are probably the most common diagnosis… although in fact it is frequently not formally diagnosed at all because most people don’t seek treatment when they are suffering. But the term describes the condition very accurately.

When something happens to you that derails your normal routine, it is not uncommon to have a reaction that only further disorients you. In such cases you have what is known as a “maladaptive response” to whatever it is that has happened to you. When a therapist assigns this diagnosis, it indicates that although your response to the stressful event is “maladaptive” it does not mean that you are suffering from any other mental illness. In addition, the diagnosis is not usually given in the aftermath of a loss that causes grief.

Adjustment disorders don’t usually last very long, but they can be very uncomfortable. As far as what causes a person to have an adjustment disorder, naturally it varies depending on the meaning of the event to the individual. As a result the diagnosis is essentially a subjective judgment by a therapist that your reaction to an event is outside the bounds of what would be considered a normal reaction. Obviously the more the therapist knows about you and your temperament, the better judgment I can make about what would constitute an extreme reaction, a reaction that is abnormal for you in particular.

The reason adjustment disorders are so common, is because the root cause is usually the struggle to adjust to a major change. And in modern life, disruptive change has become the norm. There are very few people who are not coping with a life characterized by significant change, sometimes very turbulent change. This can involve alterations in relationships, the status of your company or your job in particular, a change in behavior of your child or the status of your health. You can even come about in the aftermath of what was considered to be a positive change. For instance a relocation that you’re excited about initially in turn out to be an adjustment that is more profound than you were ready to negotiate. The same could be said about a desired job promotion, where the edit responsibilities become difficult to manage.

The treatment for an adjustment disorder is openly communicating about the stressful event in the struggle you’re having adapting to it. And while it is certainly helpful to have this ongoing conversation with the professional therapist, a lot of the same results can be experienced with a strong social support system, family and friends who are available and caring and ready to listen and offer encouragement.
In the DSM-IV six recognized types of adjustment disorders are recognized, and each has unique features.

There are Adjustment Disorders with:

1. Depressed mood can include tearfulness and feelings of hopelessness
2. Anxiety can includes excessive worry and nervous jitters
3. Anxiety & depressed mood (a combination of the above two).
4. Disturbance of conduct (reckless behavior, fighting, property destruction.
5. Mixed disturbance of emotions & conduct (depression, anxiety & conduct).
6. Unspecified in which the reaction to stressful events does not fit any of the other subtypes.

In addition to the above 6 descriptions consider some additional types of adjustment disorders:

Adjustment Disorder…

- with incessant marathon running causing a precipitous loss of body mass

- with projectile vomiting which erupts without warning at dinner parties

- with inappropriate nail clipping resulting in very tiny finger and toe nails

- with verbal outbursts where fits of foul language are shouted in public

- with binge eating to a point where body mass is doubled within three months

- with the Heebee Jeebees featuring inappropriate jumping in place

- with formal dress where daily attire always includes a tuxedo

- with nudity combining refusal to dress with an insistence on travel

- with chain saw fetish characterized by indiscriminate cutting down of neighborhood trees

- with reckless gunplay featuring flagrant waving of a pistol at slight provocation