Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

I’ve been practicing counseling and psychotherapy for 20 years. And despite my busy schedule and travel I continue to see people seeking help. On several occasions I have been asked if I ever feel burned out listening to the problems of others. In fact, one reader sent me a note sometime ago that said the following:

Dear Dr. Will
I admire your work and dedication to healing troubled people. I was wondering, are there ever cases where you throw in the towel? Are there some patents who are so screwed up that you admit they cannot be helped? Does a therapist ever give up? If so, then what?
Sincerely,
Leonard, Chicago, Illinois

Dear Leonard,
Thanks for the inquiry and it is a good question. Although you did not mention this in your letter I was wondering if this applied to anyone you know personally? The fact is there is always progress that can be made with a person, assuming they keep coming back to meet with their therapist. Certainly there are individuals who are so unbalanced and resistant to counsel that their progress is painfully slow. Some people are unable to progress because they have personality problems. Others stay stuck because they have organic mental problems. Still others are constantly confronted by bad circumstances that keep them down. All we can do is encourage them to keep trying - keep pushing - don’t give up!

Self-defeating: You show up at a formal wedding wearing gray sweatpants
Life-defeated: On your way to a wedding your car suddenly catches fire

Self-defeating: At an important work gathering you loudly mock the religion of the company’s top client
Life-defeated: Immediately after leaving a prayer meeting you are mugged

Self-defeating: When introduced to a vision impaired person you comedically mug to get laughs from others
Life-defeated: After leaving a hearing test at your doctor’s office you are struck by an object and blinded

Self-defeating: After a bad call at your young son’s soccer game you run on the field and assault the referee
Life-defeated: You reluctantly volunteer to referee a school soccer game and are assaulted by a deranged parent

Self-defeating: Despite complaints from neighbors you keep a rank smelling compost pile in your front yard
Life-defeated: An hour before hosting a big party the sewer backs up into your living room

Self-defeating: You always answer your cell phone in the movie theater
Life-defeated: Because you politely turned off your cell phone during a movie you miss a radio station promotion awarding you two million dollars

Self-defeating: You keep untrained pit bulls loose in your poorly fenced yard
Life-defeated: While running away from a vicious dog you accidently run into a car and are successfully sued by both the car owner and the dog’s owner

Self-defeating: At the office Christmas party you make romantic overtures to your boss’ underage daughter
Life-defeated: You are inadvertently hit by a flying glass meant for someone else and you lose an eye

Self-defeating: You have not mowed your grass in seven months
Life-defeated: While wandering through tall grass your dog is attacked by a nesting wild animal

Self-defeating: At the supermarket checkout line you create a diversion and cut to the front of the line
Life-defeated: The line at the supermarket is so long that your milk spoils and you become violently ill and are hospitalized