Wednesday, Lafayette, Indiana

Despite how much I love the season, there is one aspect of summer that I find distasteful: INSECTS!

I realize of course that there is a vast distinction between the harmless bugs and the more toxic critters. But frankly I cannot tell the difference. Whether a spider suspended in the air or a moth fluttering around my porch light they all creep me out. If that makes me a wimp, well, spit in your eye. I don’t care.

Bugs give me the Heebie Jeebies!

It isn’t what they do specifically. It’s more the way they move, crawling around and going about building their little worlds that are destined to one day overtake our own civilization. They have revolting habits, such as cannibalism and warrior like cruelty against other competing species. And don’t kid yourself, they do intend to eventually take us down. And isn’t it possible that there are alliances between bug species, plans to join together to launch a massive attack against humanity? Can you prove that they do not have such a plan? No, you can’t!

I have a friend, Dr. Tom Turpin, an eminent entomologist at Purdue who works hard to demystify the world of insects. He is devoted to helping us understand the mysterious universe of bugs. He loves bugs. And good for him! Nonetheless, from my point of view this is appeasement of an enemy that will soon rise up and swallow us all! I know I sound like an hysteric, and perhaps I am. I hope I am wrong, but it is foolish to take chances.

I am not suggesting that we go to all out war with the insect world, but it seems to me that we could be more vigilant and assertive keeping them at wider bay from my space. If moths love flitzing around lights, fine. There are lamps on public poles, get off my porch! If spiders like stringing elaborate webs, that’s cool; just do it in the woods somewhere and get out of my garage.

And don’t get me started on mosquitoes!?