Wednesday, Indianapolis, Indiana

I would rather not . . .

Now that we know who the candidates are for the fall presidential election, the debate about the country’s future begins in earnest. Watching the news each day the emotional heat surrounding each side can make your head explode. There are times when I feel the need to just pull away to regain a more balanced perspective. I confess that I have a fairly quick gag response to shallow, partisan spin. However the answer is not to detach completely. I’m committed to remain engaged and listen to both sides, keeping an open mind to decide what would be best.

However, I know many people who have chosen not one side or the other, but a third way, to essentially ignore the entire process. In a way I can’t blame them. But there is a line that can be crossed moving from healthy detachment, motivated by the need for a rest, and living in denial. I guess I’m old school and I believe every citizen needs to be engaged. But for many the acrimony and rancor that spews from each side is enough to make many of us flee.

There are people who simply shun conflict altogether. These are the people who avoid the tension that any opposition brings - they avoid the problem. Some go to such extreme lengths to deflect conflict that they would rather suffer unfairly then stand up to another person or face an uncomfortable situation. In extreme cases, mental health professionals refer to this as a personality trait that is self-defeating and pathological.
It is called Avoidant Personality Disorder. Some of its symptoms include:

A long-standing and complex pattern of feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to what other people think about them, and social inhibition. It typically manifests itself by early adulthood and includes a majority of the following symptoms:

- avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection
- is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked
- shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed
- is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations
- is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy
- views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others
- is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

- When you hear your name called you turn away

- You have traveled to another state rather than face an angry relative

- When given a surprise birthday party you suffer a heart attack

- When someone raises their voice you rapidly blink your eyes

- Your house has very few interior lights

- You rarely go out without wearing a hooded sweatshirt

- At least one a day you sprint away from a perceived threat

- Most days you wear a disguise

- Whenever you enter a room you walk in back first

- You always wear dark sunglasses