Wednesday, Rochester, New York

Let me begin by asserting that I love living in Lafayette, Indiana. After a lifetime on the coasts, and missing many things about life in New York or Los Angeles, I am happily settled here. A major reason is that the revolution in technology has enabled me to remain connected to my national career interests right from here.

That said, I recall a local resident’s quip when I first arrived, Indiana, a great place to live but I wouldn’t want to visit here." I am sure that every place has its self effacing criticism that amuse the locals. All the years of my life that I lived in New York I knew a thousand jokes mocking the place. I thought of this these past few days while visiting Rochester, New York to speak to a great group of people with Lifetime Healthcare Companies. Life up there is no easy challenge.

Rochester, New York is set in the rural beauty of Western New York. It is set in the middle of a string of cities between Buffalo and Syracuse. Despite the physical appeal of the place, it has some of the worst weather imaginable. This area is routinely victimized by the famous “lake effect snow” phenomenon. Frigid cold fronts zooming down from Canada race across the Great Lakes picking up moisture and dump staggering amounts of snow here. It is a curiosity that so many choose to live here - that is - to remain here! In fact it would be interesting to now if they lose more of their children to relocation than other, more commodious places.

Nonetheless, the city is attractive and busy during the business day and it has all the expected features of a new city, from Starbucks to the Hyatt Hotel where I’m staying. So while a few million stout souls endure the bruising climate the question remains why? The most reasonable conclusion is that social connections, including family, friends and familiarity, usually trumps personal comfort. It’s why I live in Indiana instead of of New York or Los Angeles where opportunities for me abound. It’s why people stay in places like scorching Arizona, frigid Maine and steamy Houston.

It’s a reminder that, consciously or not, we are motivated to the familiar and uncomfortable with change - especially change that involves the loss of connections. Speaking about Refrigerator Rights and the problem of social isolation, the very place of the meeting was a reminder of the profound need that we have to connect and belong.