Monday, Monticello, Indiana

There have been a few occasions when I’ve been told by people with contact with professional athletes that the men who played Football in college and in the NFL are frequently living with the debilitating results of having been physically battered for several years. They report that many of these men have had extensive damage done to their legs and back that they sometimes can barely walk.

Anyone who watched the playoffs this weekend understands the reason. The hitting and tackling in both games, played on fields that were essentially frozen concrete parking lots, was brutal. Players were flipped horizontally in the air and landed flat on their backs. Others were clocked by 300 pound opponents and leveled in head on collisions. Even the receivers, before they were blitzed, were trying to hold on to a ball that must have felt like a loaf of concrete bread! And on top of it all, the games were played in frigid temperatures. The Green Bay Packers game against the New York Giants was played at night in sub-zero weather!

This was simply cruel!

In most cases the players are richly compensated for their work. Many of them are millionaires living a life of fame and pleasures. Nonetheless, the price they pay in return often includes coping with a limited and damaged body for the rest of their lives. While it doesn’t make me sympathetic to those among them who act out with obnoxious and even criminal behavior in public, it does give me pause. How would any of us cope with being a wealthy sports celebrity, but at the cost of the full use of my legs for the next 50 years? Hmmm…

The hunger we feel to become significant has become so strong that we are willing to trade the vigor and longevity of our physical bodies for the exhilaration of enjoying about a decade of fame and cash. And whether it’s the physical price of professional athletics, or the mind numbing glare of media focus and invasion of privacy endured by entertainers, it seems a price most kids are drooling to pay.

Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

Most people would acknowledge that excessive television watching is probably not the healthiest life habit. For decades there have been persistent worries that exposure to violence on TV is responsible for an increase in violence in society. And so too with the sexual themes on television and their possible impact on behaviors of adolescents.

Rarely do we read about research that talks about any positive consequences of television. But surely there are some obvious aspects to watching TV. For instance, TV has the ability to reach a mass audience instantly with important information. Exposure to critical warnings about smoking, for instance is clearly a good thing. And bringing political candidates live and in full color to our living rooms makes for a better informed electorate than if we only knew them through the filter of print and word of mouth.

But one scientific study actually suggests that television can be a powerful tool in helping sick patients cope with pain! In a nutshell it found that the numbing effect of TV can be helpful for those in the hospital. The research was reported in the British Journal Archives of Disease in Childhood. And although the findings are clearly intuitive, the study confirms what we suspected, that “children watching cartoons suffered less pain from a hypodermic needle than kids not watching TV.”
Well, duh!

What was a bit unsettling, however is the finding that the cartoons were actually more comforting to the children than their own mothers! So while it’s good to have a powerful distraction for children getting painful medical procedures, it is also troubling "because we have demonstrated the excessive power of television," said chief author, Carlo Bellieni, a father of three and a neonatologist and pediatrician at the University of Siena in Italy. In general, Mom’s soothing touch may be overrated, another expert said. Whoa!

Those watching TV cartoons reported half the pain as those who were being soothed by Mom. When compared with children who just sat in a hospital room with mothers who didn’t try to soothe them, the TV watchers reported one-third the pain. "The power of television is strong and it can be harmful for children if it is stronger than the force made by the mother to distract children," Bellieni said. "I believe that this power must be controlled and reduced."

Well, maybe. But until we find something better, I’ll pay for television next time I have to get a needle! The bottom line is that the variable is the distracting nature of media, not the content of the show. Something that draws your attention away from the discomfort at hand is an established strategy to coping with physical and emotional pain. A therapist will affirm that mixing healthy distractions along with opportunities to feel the pains of life and experience is the best way to cope and grow.

So enjoy some distractions this weekend. A football game, movie or even some favorite reruns may be just what the doctor ordered.

Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

It’s a tragic story out of North Carolina that is still in the headlines. A Marine Corporal was found murdered still carrying a baby. At the time she was waiting to testify against a fellow Marine she accused of raping her. In the news yesterday an acquaintance of the suspect, Cesar Laurean, described him as being like TV character "MacGyver."

This is, of course, a compelling analogy. From 1985 through 1992, actor Richard Dean Anderson played Angus MacGyver, a brilliant secret agent who was renown for his incredibly imaginative skills at sabotage and escape.

MacGyver, was essentially a scientist and engineer who knew how to look around and pick up whatever was near at hand to do incredible things that saved his own life and the lives of others. He used ordinary items he found within reach to concoct devices to make explosives and other escape plans.

Among his many celebrated feats include:

- Disarms a nuclear warhead with a paper clip;

- Activates a blown fuse with the aluminum wrapping from chewing gum;

- Makes an animal whistle from a metal bottle that emits a high frequency that makes a horse buck;

- Makes a telescope from newspaper, magnifying glass and a watch crystal;

- Blows up a building using some ball bearings, a propane tank and a grindstone;

- Repairs a punctured gas line using a ball point pen;

- Using some ship cleaner and a bottle of ammonia creates fog!

Much like the appeal of Jason Bourne (noted yesterday) MacGyver, seemed to be an ordinary person, like us, perhaps. And yet he found ways to use common resources - the things that would be available to anyone. Who among us can access weapons or other sophisticated devices that might be necessary when we are in a crisis?

To imagine that we, like MacGyver, could escape danger with whatever is at hand is a delightful, escaping fantasy. It is why we watched!

Reader Bill submitted the following:

Hello Dr. Will. I am actually in the middle of re-watching all of the MacGyver episodes from beginning to end. I’m on seaons 5 now. When I read this news story this morning I was actually very bothered by it. MacGyver was a childhood hero of mine and in going back and watching the episodes now, I realize how much I actually learned as person from the character. The character of MacGyver was against the use of guns and tried to always avoid killing, though he still used violence at times. He would always look for the solution and not focus on the problem. He was also a character who was always helping others without regard for himself. These are all in addition to his ingenious solutions to the problems he faced each week. So, to see the name MacGyver associated with this marine who may have killed this woman bothers me, since to me MacGyver stands for something more than just diffusing bombs with a paperclip.

Wednesday, Indianapolis, Indiana

I have thoroughly enjoyed the books and films by Robert Ludlum and his hero, super spy Jason Bourne. I have read the first three and am hoping for more entries and, especially, more film depictions of the Jason Bourne story. The plots are gripping and the action is incredible. And Bourne is an invincible protagonist. No matter what the odds, he just cannot be cornered and eliminated.

In several scenes Bourne is involved in staggering, violent car chases featuring head on collisions, roaring through hapless pedestrians, side swiping innocent cars and destroying countless police cars in several countries. In one climactic scene he actually drives backwards off the roof of a parking garage and crashes into some other cars below! And of course he emerges from the smoking wreckage with just a mild limp. Whoa!! There is never a corner from which he cannot escape.

Jason Bourne is Houdini meets Rambo.

Why We Watch

Everyone has dreams of possessing great personal power. It is a common fantasy to imagine ourselves invincible and invulnerable. You might be drawn to Superman, Wonder Woman or Rambo. And whichever hero touches you reveals the particular style of power you lust after. But Matt Damon’s depiction of Jason Bourne is especially gripping principally because he appears to be so normal and average. Unlike many other cinematic macho heroes, Bourne looks like he could be your next door neighbor…or… maybe you!

Tuesday, Indianapolis, Indiana

My father lived to be 82 years old. While that is a good long life it is not impossibly old. It is at least the lifespan that we hope and expect to enjoy. When it is cut short of this, we feel it as a disappointment, if not a disaster.

So today we lament that a great American voice was cut short. Martin Luther King was supposed to be celebrating his 79th birthday today. But instead he has been dead for 39 years, murdered by a hate-filled individual at 40 years old.

While we remember many of his glorious and inspiring words and ideas, the tragedy is that we have been deprived of the millions of inspiring words he was surely destined to express over the following, lost decades. Dr. King was a voice of transcendent power that had the potential to continue to change the attitudes of millions of white Americans raised within the bigoted norms of their culture. It was a life changing experience for me and many of my generation who had never heard the voice of righteousness and justice about bias and racial animus.

And how fitting it is that, although so may years later, that we finally have a candidate for president who is an individual of color. Barack Obama, regardless of his political destiny, represents the belated legacy of Dr. King’s dream, that equality among the races reach a point where color was of secondary concern of all people. Although there remains the psychosis of racial bigotry, the majority of Americans I believe are ready to judge our candidates on the “content of their character” rather than the “color of their skin."

It’s shocking that nearly 40 years have passed since the tragic killing of Reverend King, but his memory is alive and his dream an ideal that many are determined to realize. To rebuff the call to peace of Dr. King that equality among the races was a moral and spiritual imperative is essentially an untenable position. A call to be people of faith, hope and love cannot be dignified with debate.

Nicely said, Dr. Will. I hope and pray that what you said is true, but I’m still hearing a lot of talk about how people won’t vote for a candidate because they’re this or that or what or who…I’m not sure what happened to looking at policies and plans, rather than targeting the person. I read something recently where the person wrote about Hillary being a “PMS-ing witch.” At 60-something, I think she might be post-menopausal, but I could be wrong. Whatever happened to reasonable discussion and rational thought about what a person stands for? If anything discourages me, it’s that kind of exclusionary thinking. We’ve made a lot of progress, but it seems that we still have a long way to go to reach what Dr. King envisioned. Something to strive for….

Special Note

For those interested in my work on social isolation, documented in the book Refrigerator Rights: Creating Connections & Restoring Relationships, there is a new blog that is now active.

Click here and feel free to share your thoughts and stories.

Thanks,

Will

Monday, Indianapolis, Indiana

NYPD Blue set a new standard for police dramas when it debuted 15 years ago. And it was 10 years ago this week that ABC aired the 100th episode of the classic show. Like many others in this genre the programs depicted the work of New York police detectives who confront suspects, victims and each other in the course of a working day.

What set the show apart was how candidly it revealed the moral and behavioral weaknesses of the individuals working under circumstances of extreme emotional stress. Producer Steven Brochco spared no character in revealing their human weaknesses. It was perhaps the first police show to vividly depict a detective who is a dysfunctional alcoholic.

The show made stars out of David Caruso, Dennis Franz, Amy Brenneman, former child star Rick Schroder, Kim Delaney and Jimmy Smits. And in each case the actors were given story lines that showed them at their worst. There were ill advised romantic relationships, botched investigations and interrogations, and personal family problems that regularly interfered in their work.

What Do We Learn?

Although the behavior of the detectives was often questionable the moral certainty of the crew was rarely off base. They had clear perspective of what is right and wrong, even if they failed themselves. In many cases their personal difficulties arose from being overwhelmed by the frustrations they felt facing the pressures of police work. For any viewer who is personally fascinated by police work, there are so many depictions of the career on television and film. And over the decades the programs have become increasingly blatant in showing the foibles and weaknesses of the police professionals.

Over time we have gone from benign classics like Adam 12 & Dragnet through the grittier Law & Order, NYPD Blue and the C.S.I. series. Each exaggerated the extremes, with the earlier shows failing to show the brutal realities that cops routinely see and the later shows over emphasizing the worst illustrations of criminal depravity. The truth, of course is somewhere in the middle.

But the enduring popularity of the police drama genre is indicative of the strength of the fantasy millions experience about what it would be like to have the power to confront wrongdoing and take corrective action.

Friday, Indianapolis, Indiana

Every year we witness natural forces overwhelming people. Hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards and other natural phenomenon make headlines with the death of some and the destruction of property. At the risk of minimizing the tragedy of these events, on the whole humanity has done an amazing job of compensating for the brute force of nature. Our cities and homes are generally equipped to withstand the shock and awe of nature with losses that are small given the power of the adversary.

And herein lies a risk.

Before the levees break, it behooves us to reflect on the insurance and protections we have secured against the rising tide of stress that is unique to modern America and that is eroding our ability to enjoy a full and happy life.

Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

My travel makes it difficult for us to have pets, but most of my neighbors have dogs andf I love them all. They range from the huge, my assistant Rachel’s Great Dane Lucy, to the miniature, Nessie, the Boswell’s Cairn Terrier. Any dog owner knows that dogs have a rich and complicated emotional life, that their psyches are far more complex than many people assume.

Scientists use the term “secondary emotions” to describe the unique characteristic of human beings to experience such feelings as love, jealousy and anger. And the new research affirms what dog caretakers have long suspected, that dogs have similar emotional struggles. They experience many of the emotions we ourselves feel. While their range of expression is limited, they nonetheless feel their emotions deeply.

Reader Phyllis K, a dog psychologist, sent me the following interpretations of some of your dog’s common behaviors and what they are actually feeling. 

Accidents: Of course I realize that you want me to relieve myself outside. But here is an expression of my disgust with how you treated me - ignored me - disciplined me - abandoned me yesterday.

Thanks Phyllis, for these helpful insights!