Wednesday, Lafayette, Indiana

Do You Cling To Others?
…do Others Cling To You?

It is not uncommon to feel an deep need for someone to take care of us. Each of us wants nurturing. We must find the balance between stepping up and taking care of ourselves and having the courage to trust others. However, when this need to depend on another for your emotional well being, it can become a significant psychological problem.

See if the description below sounds familiar.

Dependent Personality Disorder

Symptoms: A pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive behavior and fears of separation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others:
– You have left a restaurant without eating because of your inability to choose between white and rye bread.
– You spend at least seven hours a week on the telephone with technical support for minor software problems.
– The thought of being forced to work as an umpire causes you nausea

2. Needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of his or her life:

– When shopping for clothing on your own you always purchase the exact outfits you see on the store mannequins.
– When interacting with your pet, you often ask questions and seek advice.
– You have developed an intense reliance on a phone psychic

3. Has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval:

– When another driver makes an obscene gesture your way, you are willing to drive at least 200 miles out of your way to avoid a confrontation.
– You have participated in at least three ill-advised business ventures with a relative, even though he is currently hospitalized with a mental illness.
– When asked a routine question by a police officer, you confess to a crime you did not commit.

4. Goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant:

– Whenever you see a woman who looks like your mother, you must resist a powerful urge to sit on her lap.
– You sometimes speak to authority figures using a baby voice.
– You own more than 20 cats.

5. Urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends:

– Within one day of her death, you move in with your mother’s sister.
– After a divorce, you submit a dozen profiles to eHamrony to find a new mate as soon as possible.
– As soon as your dog turns three years old, you get a new puppy in preparation for losing the older pet. You always have five dogs.

6. Is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of himself or herself:

– When members of your family leave for work, you cling to their clothing until they forcibly remove your hands.
- In anticipation of being abandoned you have arranged credentials to assume a new identity with plans to move into the home of a alleged relative.
- Although you are not a believer, you have sent for brochures inquiring about joining a religious commune upon the death of your caretaker.