Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

Over the past three years a pattern has evolved among the famous. In the aftermath of a gaffe, an antic or a crime the new form of apology is to immediately enter rehabilitation. And curiously the majority are women. Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, Amy Winehouse, Nicole Richie & Tara Reid have all gone rehab following some public, paparazzi spectacle.

But there have also been stories about the inebriated misbehavior of Keifer Sutherland, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen & Daniel Baldwin. There was even the bizzaro account of Grey’s Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington who, after being fired for an altercation with another cast member, entered what the network called rehab for his "homophobia." Huh?

The latest celebrity rehab story unfolded this week and involves mercurial, loony toon actor Sean Young. At the Screen Actors Guild Awards ceremony Young. began heckling one of the winners who was taking too long to offer their words of gratitude. Apparently smashed, she shouted out, “get on with it!”  When the speaker asked what was going on, she repeated the bleary eyed insult. Young was then escorted out of the event. Sure enough, the very next morning her manager announced that she was entering rehab for her addiction.

Hmmm.

My suspicion is that the claim of the disease of addiction becomes murkier when dealing with wealthy celebrities. It reminds me of the number of individuals who wind up in jail for committing crime and then“find Jesus”  while behind bars. Police officers and prosecutors are rightfully skeptical about the sincerity of these jailhouse conversions having encountering them earlier in their unrepentant, sociopathic state. When finally they have to face the consequences for their actions that they have previously avoided, they have an epiphany and see the light of God.

When a rich entertainer enjoys a lifestyle that shields them from most inconveniences and the routine responsibilities that others must manage, it becomes fairly easy and consequence free to imbibe…to excess…and with no cost…except when…opps!…they get stopped while driving! Oh yeah, that!

Is this really the serious business of the disease of addiction? Or is celebrity rehab just a con allowing the coddled to skate by with a shielded life that has no boundaries?

The people I have known in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction rarely got the opportunity to walk away from their mistakes by signing into an exotic spa while their “people” face the press and the public on their behalf.

So, good luck to the celebrities in rehab. We’re glad you got help. But after being chastened by the bad press and loss of esteem by fans, please spare us your “come to Jesus” platitudes about how you have now found yourself. It’s about as credible as a violent offender attending a Bible Study in prison. Granted not all felon converts are insincere, but we’re entitled to our suspicions.

ACTING!!

Wednesday, Lafayette, Indiana

Do You Cling To Others?
…do Others Cling To You?

It is not uncommon to feel an deep need for someone to take care of us. Each of us wants nurturing. We must find the balance between stepping up and taking care of ourselves and having the courage to trust others. However, when this need to depend on another for your emotional well being, it can become a significant psychological problem.

See if the description below sounds familiar.

Dependent Personality Disorder

Symptoms: A pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive behavior and fears of separation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others:
– You have left a restaurant without eating because of your inability to choose between white and rye bread.
– You spend at least seven hours a week on the telephone with technical support for minor software problems.
– The thought of being forced to work as an umpire causes you nausea

2. Needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of his or her life:

– When shopping for clothing on your own you always purchase the exact outfits you see on the store mannequins.
– When interacting with your pet, you often ask questions and seek advice.
– You have developed an intense reliance on a phone psychic

3. Has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval:

– When another driver makes an obscene gesture your way, you are willing to drive at least 200 miles out of your way to avoid a confrontation.
– You have participated in at least three ill-advised business ventures with a relative, even though he is currently hospitalized with a mental illness.
– When asked a routine question by a police officer, you confess to a crime you did not commit.

4. Goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant:

– Whenever you see a woman who looks like your mother, you must resist a powerful urge to sit on her lap.
– You sometimes speak to authority figures using a baby voice.
– You own more than 20 cats.

5. Urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends:

– Within one day of her death, you move in with your mother’s sister.
– After a divorce, you submit a dozen profiles to eHamrony to find a new mate as soon as possible.
– As soon as your dog turns three years old, you get a new puppy in preparation for losing the older pet. You always have five dogs.

6. Is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of himself or herself:

– When members of your family leave for work, you cling to their clothing until they forcibly remove your hands.
- In anticipation of being abandoned you have arranged credentials to assume a new identity with plans to move into the home of a alleged relative.
- Although you are not a believer, you have sent for brochures inquiring about joining a religious commune upon the death of your caretaker.

Tuesday, Louisville, Kentucky

In the heat of the presidential nomination battle, the candidates have been often evoked names and images of the past. We have heard the names of the two patron saints of the political parties, Republican Ronald Reagan and Democrat John F. Kennedy. The Republicans are looking for the conservative charisma of President Reagan and the Democrats are hunting for the echo of President Kennedy’s Camelot.

So it is fitting to recall some of the great events in history that are celebrated this very week. Three of these historic memories reflect issues that continue to be significant for us today: war, peace & resilience.

As for war…

It was 35 years ago this week the Vietnam War officially came to an end with the signing of the Paris Peace accord. Like the current conflict in Iraq, it was a war that lost the support of the citizens and dragged on interminable. The rhetoric used to defend the endeavor, the proponents warned that losing Vietnam would create a “domino effect” that would assure the takeover of the world by the communists. As we know, those fears did not come true despite the certainty of the hawks.

As for peace…

Mahatma Ghandi, the prime minister of India was assassinated 60 years ago this week. Ghandi was responsible for winning the independence of Indian from Great Britain through the use of peaceful civil disobedience. Spurning the use of violence and war, Ghandi liberated India and forever set the standard for how citizens can use their power,, even the power of passivity, to make their will known. Ghandi was a clear and recognized influence on the theology and tactics of Dr. Martin Luther King who used a similar approach to bring racism and discrimination before the American public to shame us into action on civil rights.

And as for resilience…

It was 22 years ago that the NASA Shuttle Challenger exploded shortly after its launch before the eyes of the nation. It was a stunning catastrophe that reminded the country that progress has a steep price. But in its aftermath, thanks to the inspiration of the leaders, including President Reagan, that we pushed forward and saved the space program that continues today. Setbacks are part of life, and pushing forward in their aftermath is the story of human progress and the inspiration that we feed on ourselves.

As we move forward in our process to find the next leader, we will watch, listen and get a feel for who can move us forward as a nation. Who will be willing to fight war only when necessary, use peace whenever possible and inspire us to push ahead in the face of challenges and setbacks.

Monday, Louisville, Kentucky

The Screen Actors Guild Award awards was held in Hollywood last night. It was enjoyable as these events always are, but there is something pretentiously creepy about the repeated assertion that we are “actors.” I am reminded of the Jon Lovitt sketch on Saturday Night Live with John Lithgow where they played affected classical “ACTORS!!” Yes, we know, you are “ACTING!!”

Throughout the ceremony, such emphasis is placed on their career identity that it gets lost that they are…let’s face it…you know…like…actors. Actors, for heaven’s sake! the aura of the evening overplays the significance of the jobs that, while surely a curiosity, reflects the absurd inflation of the status of show business in comparison to other, far more significant professions contributing more fundamentally to the good of society. Yes I know that art has a critical place in social health. But it’s not on the same plane as the work of a scientist seeking a cure for cancer or a soldier in combat in the Middle East.

A recent survey of six-year-old children revealed that when asked what they wanted to be when they grow up, the vast majority answered entertainment stars! Huh!? Let’s get some perspective here!The Screen Actors Guild motto from its inception has been, “He who best serves, serves others.” Seems to me that the stain of self involvement has crept into the culture and ethos of the membership. Does anyone really believe that the millionaire actors who get featured on the awards shows are truly motivated by service to others? Ah, sorry, I’m a skeptic.

Now of course there are many actors who have preserved an awareness of the uniqueness of their jobs. It was delightful to hear some of the speeches of the winning actors who clarified that they had spent many years - often over a decade as non-working actors. Charles Durning’s story was exceptional, conveying his humility and gratitude earning him the praise of the admiring audience. It was too bad they chose knucklehead Burt Reynolds (who appeared to be drunk!) to introduce him.

A Lesson From Standup Comedy

I believe actors can take a lesson from standup comedy. I can attest to the career and ego purity of the comedy culture. Aside from the irony that the content of night club comedy is anything BUT pure, the self identity of professional comics indeed is without real pretension. That’s because comics face real audiences in unfiltered settings. If you are funny, they laugh; if you are not funny, you bomb. If you are engaging, you get immediate appreciation; if you are really obnoxious (and I don’t mean an act that is satirizing obnoxiousness) you will be derided right then and there. It’s brutal; it’s an amazing experience.

So predictably, with some exceptions, of course, comics have less of the self conscious awareness that so many actors express. The performance environment of standup is unprotected compared to the set of a film or television show. Granted these situations have their pressures. But there is clearly more cushion of support around the actual work of an actor. So they have the luxury of their fragile ego and sensitivity.

It shows.

Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

Casual Talk for Public Exposure

Will you allow me to blow off some steam? I will be calling people names who are always calling people names!

Perhaps we need to be patient and allow time for the news media to evolve more fully. Obsessed as they are with the presidential circus, the cable news outlets are drawing in audiences with the traditional tactics of tabloids - shock and awe. It’s drawing rubber necking spectators to look over at a spectacular car crash! The “issues” being covered are of the most inflammatory and divisive type: racial animus, religious orthodoxy and fear mongering.

Viewers who choose to look in on one of these news outlets for some intelligent updates and summaries on the progress and process of the Presidential election are instead inundated with slant, innuendo and juvenile name calling.

As much of a news junkie as I have long been, current television news coverage, especially on the cable outlets, is simply revolting to me. And no network is better than the other - none has the high ground!

From the agonizingly annoying Wolf Blitzer to the arrogant blowhard spinmeister Bill O’Reilly, there is apparently enough of a desperate audience tuning in to these millionaire entertainers for their social edification that they are making money for their networks. Whether it’s the irrelevant liberal gasbag pundits, the stunningly opportunistic Al Sharpton, the bellicose Chris Matthews or the drug addict Rush Limbaugh, the mealy mouth sell out Alan Colmes or relentlessly unreflective Sean Hannity, they are all show business stars masquerading as journalists.

The liberal spin of the major networks and New York Times, the fringe fervor of Fox and its intemperate, myopic talent - well - it’s enough to make anyone hurl and turn immediately to HGTV and the Food Network for composure. Really, beyond curiosity, what is the point of watching the vicious, purposeless provocations of Ann Coulter, the ideologue with no visible conscience?

Watching the shock-jock nerd John Gibson, dressed up like a real newsman, cruelly mock the death of Heath Ledger this week, it takes gall for the Fox pundits to assume the high road on morality, airing on a network whose reputation for sleazy prime time programs is legendary. This is the network that dilettante comedian and newly minted conservative Dennis Miller, in love with his thesaurus, once described as “the Network whose parents are not home.” At least the amoral sewer slug Howard Stern had the decency to disappear into the fog of Satellite radio.

The arrogant New York Times is equally obnoxious as it explains to the elite what is going on “out there” among the rest of us, peering down like an entomologist observing an ant colony. They too should stick to what they do best: reviews plays and operas.

Where is compassion? Where is open discourse? Where is the discussion about health care? Where is the conversation about our status in the world? Where is the civil debate about the best approach to confronting the religious psychotics apparently free to come across our porous borders while we debate the Clinton - Obama race baiting nonsense?

Ugh! Where is the news coverage?

Clearly it’s someplace else! In the meantime cable news is just broadcasting heated bar conversations best kept among personal acquaintances in the privacy of their own relationship.

Is it any wonder that we’ve been electing the venal, the corrupt and the stupid for the past 15 years?

Rosa observes:

It’s so true that the media (an even the candidates at times) have fallen for the sensational opportunity to stir racial and gender issues. I think that having an African-American and a woman as candidates make the subject almost unavoidable, but I agree that there are even more relevant issues to focus on: Iraq, health care (I will never understand why car insurance is mandatory but health isn’t), economy, education, etc. We only have basic cable at home, so we turn to Brian Williams, CSPAN, and the “arrogant New York Times” (electronic version) for news regarding the candidates and their campaigns. We try to watch all the debates, but it’s frustrating that some of them are broadcasted by MSNBC or CNN (we don’t have those channels). Am I over reacting or is this discrimation against the “poor”? :-). Any ways, despite all the negative, I find this political campaigns extremely interesting and entertaining

And Beth adds:

Tell us how you really feel, Dr. Will!

You’re so right. It’s very easy for people to attack without backing up their comments, and the media feeds off of itself. This is only one example of many, but when Ann Coulter made her ridiculous remarks about John Edwards, and people were outraged and talking about it, I asked, “Why are you upset about this? She’s only saying that kind of thing to get attention, and the more you discuss it, the more attention she gets.” That kind of idiotic remark has no place in a reasonable, intelligent society, and my reaction is to dismiss it for the foolishness that it is. I don’t understand why the media has chosen to exploit that kind of behavior instead of ignoring it. Ratings, I suppose. But whatever happened to journalistic ethics?

You rant very eloquently, by the way.

Beth Reacts:

Thanks, Dr. Will. Fun stuff! I never understood why Darren was such a stubborn dolt about Sam using her powers. He really was controlling, wasn’t he? I’m happy to say I’m not married to a Darren, and I like to think I’m not a witch!

Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

The classic television show Get Smart (1965-1970) was a spoof of the James Bond spy films popular at the time. In addition, it was in the middle of the Cold War tensions with the Soviet Union. This was a frightening time of stress for every citizen. We lived with the daily fear of a nuclear world war. People built bomb shelters in their yards. Children participated in regular bomb drills hiding under school desks preparing for the ultimate possibility.

In the middle of this comes Maxwell Smart, our best undercover agent. Agent Smart was at the center of our nation’s spy activities. He was matched against our sworn enemy, known as KAOS, in a cat and mouse game of spy versus spy. The recurring plot of the show is how Max bumbles his way through and somehow prevails against KAOS. He does this through through sheer accident and fortuitous happenstance.

The theme of the show is that we survived the cold war unscathed not through brilliant competence, but through sheer idiot’s luck.

And this is a great fear of the citizenry: Instead of partisan conspiracy and ideological agendas, what if the real problem with government is that they are simply incompetent? What if, like Max, they are innocent, inept and simply lucky so far? Is this what’s keeping us safe?

Dear Heaven, we pray it is not the case!

Indicators that a government agent is not competent:

- Fails to block his caller I.D. when making dangerous contacts

- Drives a bright yellow car

- Runs for local political office

- Signs up for eHarmony.com

- Habitually loses his gun

- Speaks with an easily identifiable lisp

- Throws up at the sight of blood

- Constantly reverses letters of his code name

- Is terrified of flying

- Has severe arthritis in his fists

- Forwards fellow agents email jokes without using the BCC option.

- Leaves hard drive with encryption keys for multi-billion dollar satellite communication system on top of car and drives off. Drive never found.
 
- Transposing a number in the street address of an informer and then asking for the informer’s address by name at…police headquarters.
 
- Leaves dashboard mounted GPS in car after days of field operations. GPS unit stolen and history downloaded, revealing all communications drops and routes for the last twelve weeks.
 
- Local help paid in untraceable US$100 bills. Result: a cup of tea in all surrounding villages now costs $100….
 
- Identical wrapping paper on similar size gift results in agent’s wife in Alexandria receiving gift intended for Polish agent. Polish agent not amused by contents, breaks off contact.

Wednesday, Lafayette, Indiana

Gifted young actor Heath Ledger died yesterday and there are suspicions that he was taking a mixture of strong prescription drugs. The shocking end to a career full of artistic potential is stunning, especially when there was no well reported indication that he had a troubled life. Much like the surprising reports of the suicide attempt of Owen Wilson, another young celebrity actor who struggled with severe depression a few months back, this stunning event comes without public warning. But the commonality is the penchant for wealthy celebrity actors to fall prey to drug use. Supposedly Ledger had anti-anxiety medications, Xanax, Valium and several other strong medications.

As obvious as it sounds, the public perception of actors is inextricably tied to the roles they play. Clearly the impression we have of any actor is most clearly imprinted through characters they embody on the screen. We may have a sense of Tom Hanks, Robert DiNiro and Reese Witherspoon, but in reality our impression is framed by their scripted film roles. We have, at best, only a vague notion of their core personality traits.

What we can know about Mr. Ledger is that he was obviously in the throes of some emotional chaos. How can that be, given the privilege and acclimation of his young life? He had wealth, notoriety and a bright career future, everything to live for with no reason to engage in self destructive behavior? So what is going on here?

Clearly there is no connection between acclaim and affluence and emotional stability. Coping with the struggles of human living defies any simple strategy, including those based on such concrete and physical variables as money and fame. Being rich is no bulwark against sanity or the debilitating effects of depression or anxiety.

What Do We Learn?

From the other direction, this is a cautionary tale for all those who are sin hot pursuit of the fantasy that a better life will come with wealth and personal significance. A strong feeling of longing for a better life - relief from the suffering of an unbearable mood - is not relieved by the sudden realization of desired material success. Even if one’s wildest dreams come true, an underlying crisis of mood follows you throughout the entire roller coaster ride. Depression is immune from changing personal fortunes.

Even the luckiest, most talented and acclaimed people have self destructive habits designed to alleviate their intense psychological pain.

Beth notes:
How true. If someone doesn’t get help for deep seated issues, those issues will follow them no matter what their circumstances. The grass isn’t always greener…
A question. Why do some (like Wilson and Ledger) suffer quietly, while others (like Britney Spears) draw so much attention to themselves? I think maybe that’s her way of asking for help…do you think that’s correct? Are both types of behavior equally unhealthy?

While both Ledger and Spears clearly had psychological struggles, they are of a different sort. Spears flamboyant acting out to draw attention to herself, as you noted, suggests a form of narcissism. Ledger was perhaps suffering from depression - understandable given the roller coaster ride of celebrity. Tragedy played out in the tabloid press - but really no different than the emotional pain of millions of people everywhere struggling to live the best life they can.

Monday, Lafayette, Indiana

As an average citizen I only know what is available to me through the news outlets in the paper, on television and the Internet. Consequently I am at the mercy of the media’s reliability. So when I saw Al Gore’s documentary: An Inconvenient Truth, it was certainly alarming. But subsequently I have heard passionate skeptics like Rush Limbaugh rail against the notion that we are on the verge on ecological collapse.

Who’s right?

Is the melting ice in the North Pole a routine planetary cycle?
Have polar bears experienced drowning in centuries past?

I don’t know! … Do you? … How?

The fact is we choose sources and grip them, holding on against the heresy of opposing sources. All in all, not an intellectually viable position. Pragmatism would suggest that we listen and take precautions. I am optimistic that there is a consensus building that we ought to act with openness to ideas for helping our globe chill out.

Again, how?

One strategy is to buy a hybrid car. Some convert their house to solar energy. We can recycle, use earth friendly products and a hundred other ways. More people are becoming aware and starting to participate in solutions. As an individual it’s tempting to wonder whether these little efforts will have any real impact. But, when in doubt…why not try?

Some go to extreme measures.

It was announced this week that a Swedish University received a half million dollar grant to measure the environmental impact of…are you ready…cows belching!

Yeah, burping cattle and the impact on greenhouse gases!

Well, if the Swedish Government thinks that cutting down on cow belching can help save the earth, who am I to refuse to recycle!?

I think the cows are just saying that they enjoyed their meal. I guess we all need to do our part, because who are we to deny cows this pleasure? I’m not sure I want to live in a world where cows are prevented from belching. That just seems wrong.