Friday, Lafayette, Indiana

The recurring theme in the cartoon Blondie is the plight of Dagwood Bumstead who works under the thumb of his sadistic boss J.C. Dithers. In one recent entry Dagwood and Blondie are looking into the window of a pet shop watching a hamster run around a wheel. Dagwood says “look at that hamster working as hard as he can and getting nowhere. That’s just how I feel at the J.C. Dithers company!” He storms off as Blondie observes, “somebody had a bad day at the office.”

Working as hard as we can and “getting nowhere” is an affront to our life expectations and sense of entitlement. We reasonably expect that if we work hard and follow the proscribed path, we will inevitably have our dreams fulfilled. When the formula fails it’s disappointing. We may feel outraged by the injustice. Such expectations are highlighted in the American way of life. Despite all evidence to the contrary about the capricious nature of human reality we continue to plow ahead refusing to accept that we may not get anywhere near where we dream of getting.

How have we come to this place where so many people stand on their expectation that they are entitled to succeed? Research studies have shown that the majority of young professionals test above average for narcissism and its attendant expectation that good things will come their way because they are entitled to it. And certainly American life is full of opportunity and an unprecedented ease and comfort.

But life is also replete with the lure of fantasy. Unlike societies where wealth, privilege and status are always determined by birth, we in our time and place believe these can be attained with labor and the nurturing of our personal gifts. The only concession we seem to acknowledge is luck. And even there the advice is understand luck as when preparation meets opportunity. Preparation can be controlled and opportunity is seen as inevitable and recurring.

The prospect of remaining anonymous for the entire duration of our life is frightening & depressing for many people. This has become so engrained in our self esteem culture that we are failing to inoculate our children against emotional meltdowns when life’s tragedies and disappointments visit us. The popularity of the television program American Idol reveals this insatiable drive to be acknowledged. The ingenious format of the program shines a light on the dilemma of the self in modern culture. Young performers stand before judges who evaluate their talent. Most seem supremely confident that they have what it takes to become a star, a celebrity artist who will become rich and revered. When the judges reject them many seemed shocked and crushed. Their self image is shattered and it’s clear that they had little understanding of how their talent compares with the other performers. The exciting lure of the program for viewers is rooted in the withering critique of the judges, specifically the blunt, even cruel comments from Simon Cowell. As scathing as his comments ay be, we feel a level of gratitude that someone has finally told this deluded individual the truth, even as it humiliates the performer.

The truth is that life’s unpredictability is its essential feature and a happy, low stress life begins by accepting these inevitabilities and gathering the support around us that will enable us to cope and behave with resilience. Despite his bad day, certainly Dagwood Bumstead has what he needs to bounce back from his momentary existential meltdown. What are your expectations? When the stresses come, what resources do you have at your ready disposal? On this dstressing

matter you man find it helpful to read Refrigerator Rights.