Thursday, Lafayette, Indiana

One of my favorite blogs that I visit every day is Shecky Magazine. It is written by Brian McKim & Traci Skene, two outstanding professional standup comedians who report on the standup comedy business and its artists. It is the essential resource for knowing what’s happening in the world of standup.

I especially love when they challenge the uninformed reporting on standup comedy by amateur knucklehead newspaper critics who attend a show and pan it. Shecky points out why they are wrong, why they are annoying and why they should have their pencils broken. I love it!

Wednesday, Appleton, Wisconsin

Sigmund Freud is acknowledged for developing the psychological counseling technique known as psychoanalysis. A core principle of that theory is the idea of repression. As scary as the term can sound repression is a routine defense used by each of us in order to manage our thinking and actions in life.

In its most benign form repression enables us to organize our conscious thought and “put away” in the mind’s vault if you will information, memories and ideas that are not needed in the moment. For instances it is not likely that right now you are thinking about…elephants…until right now, that is. By mentioning the word elephant you instantly conjure from you unconscious the notion of the beast. Until I brought it to your conscious awareness, it was, quite simply repressed. So repression is a normal human function.

However, repression can also be used to keep at bay thoughts and their associated feelings that are emotionally uncomfortable. When we experience something particularly traumatic or uncomfortable it is a natural reaction to want to “forget about it” or repress it. And any of us can testify the experience of having an uncomfortable thought or memory popping up into our minds despite our desire to keep it buried.

Among the curious features of repression is that we can sometimes see it more vividly in another person that we can in ourselves. We can almost feel a person’s emotional discomfort when reminded of an experience that rattles them. Let’s take an example from television.

The Repression of Sue Ann Nivens

Sue Ann Nivens is a classic character from the famous Mary Tyler Moore Show. At WJM she hosted a cooking show and was often the butt of joked by the other staff. But she was also an individual who was repressing a significant reservoir of rage. And in so doing we watch her and realize that, despite our best efforts to mask our inner feelings, others usually see through our outer shield of warmth and into the fire of hostility inside.

Behind her false smile and cheery persona, Sue Ann is obviously a very angry person. Why? We can never know for sure. However, the fact that she is so easily set off indicates that she was probably emotionally injured as a young child. Sometimes these emotional injuries can appear slight at the time, but for some reason leave a lasting impression on the psyche. It could be rejection by peers at a vulnerable time, a too stern parent who unwittingly encouraged her to repress her feelings of frustrations. As was said, we will never know.

What is clear, however, is that Sue Ann has chronic difficulty in all her relationships. She is both fascinated and threatened by Mary, who is someone she aspires to be but feels can never become. But over time, her friendships at WJM would have softened her to change. Perhaps she might even seek therapy.

I am confident that after a year of weekly visits, she could actually experience inside what she so actively portrays on the outside. Imagine an authentically polite “Happy Homemaker?”

What about you? Do you mask your volcanic rage behind the thin veneer of a false happy face? Trust me, others can fel your percolating fury. Think about getting help. Have a great day!

Tuesday, Appleton, Wisconsin

Westward Ho!

Fifty years ago this week a classic television program made its debut. Wagon Train was a riveting drama telling the stories of settlers moving out West in the late 1800’s. hey ventured out to find a new life in the desolate territories of the barely explored American West.

Set in the aftermath of the cataclysmic Civil War, these were tales of the hearty individuals who decided to step out into the unknown, facing risks to their very life and limb. And of course the heroes of the show were the brave men who escorted them safely across the wilderness.

As with so many show of that era, the cast featured film stars making their first steps onto the small screen, the infant revolution of television. Character actor Ward Bond played Major Seth Adams, a Civil War hero and now the wagon master. He led the team that was charged with safely traveling West in the face of hostilities from the Indian tribes set against the white expansion into their land.

His scout was played by the handsome young actor Robert Horton, who went on to become famous on his own on Broadway and again in television and film. Wagon Train has a decades-long run and at one point was the most popular show on television.

Why We Watched

It may be difficult to imagine today, but in the middle of the last century most people associated a remote wilderness with the unsettled American west familiar to their own grandparents. Today of course we associate an unsettled wilderness with outer space. As a result there are very few westerns that succeed on television these days. These adventure stories have ceded the limelight to tales of travel into space.

Wagon Train was unique among westerns shows in that it as not focused on the heroics of great lawmen or cowboys with superior fighting ability. Instead it told sorties of ordinary, often vulnerable individuals and families who, along with their children, took the courageous and risky step into the wild. And they often had few travel survival skills of their own, but depended on the ability of the professionals driving the wagon train across a desolate land.

And they braved this journey in the face of the defensive and violent reaction of the indigenous Native American tribes. This would analogous to a group of ordinary modern families taking off in a rocket to settle the moon, all the while dependent on a small team of NASA professionals to keep them alive for the treacherous journey.

Wagon Train was the Star Trek of its day - a program that allowed us to imagine ourselves facing the unknown in the care of a small staff of heroes. The settings may change over time, but the theme remains pertinent. Major Seth Adams, leader of the Wagon Train, spoke to your parents about courage and capacity in perhaps the same way that Captain Jim Kirk spoke to many of you.

For a good Wagon Train website: CLICK HERE

Monday, Indianapolis, Indiana

What does your Halloween costume say about you?

The roots of modern Halloween date back many centuries. A version of it has long been celebrated to coincide with the end of the harvest. Our current Halloween is associated with the Catholic Church’s designation of November 1st as All Saints Day. For many decades we celebrate All Hallows Eve by dressing in costumes. And this, of course means the opportunity for rich psychological observations based on a person’s costume choice.

An important feature of this holiday is that it is rife with the awareness of the spiritual world encroaching on our physical world. So although the range of costumes is limitless, there is a strong association with paranormal themes. So we see ghosts, ghouls, zombies, angels, demons and witches

While there are limitless choices for a costumes there are some categories that remain popular. And your choice is always psychologically revealing; it represents a repressed fantasy. What costume are you choosing?

Super Heroes

Superman: You fantasize that you are invincible and cannot be overcome

Batman: You believe that you present an appearance of invulnerability even though your recognize that it is just a veneer, a false front, a costume

Spiderman: You are aware that you have deficits but believe that you have turned them into unique powers that make you superior to others

Celebrities

Political Character: The choice represents what you believe the culture feels about that politician and their particular points of view. Depending on the costume you are either boldly announcing your alliance or you are mocking their vulnerabilities

Sexual Character

Prostitute: A fantasy of breaking our of you routine life and venting your sexual urges

French Maid: A desire to use your sexual assets to control men who are resistant to you in other ways

Male Stripper: A longing to be the object of overt female desire and passion

Animal

Bear: Fantasy of lumbering power

Horse: Fantasy of Sexual Prowess

Classic Costumes

Princess: A yearning to be accepted as a special person, treated with deference and pampered

Hobo: You reveal your discomfort with your achievements and feel like a fraud and failure

Vampire: Focus on human deterioration and decay

Witch: A mysterious woman who is more powerful than men

Priest: Fantasy of wisdom and secret knowledge

Some Halloween Facts

About one out of five people, 19 percent, say they accept the existence of spells or witchcraft.

Nearly half, 48 percent, believe in extrasensory perception, or ESP.

The most likely candidates for ghostly visits include single people, Catholics and those who never attend religious services.

By 31 percent to 18 percent, more liberals than conservatives report seeing a specter

For more on Halloween Costumes CLICK HERE

In a random sample telephone survey of 200 respondents the duo found 44 movies that people identified as having particularly scared them, usually when they were teenagers. The survey found that seven movies accounted for 58 percent of all the nominations. In order of most frequent mentions,

The Seven Deadly Films" are:

1. Scream
2. Friday the 13th
3. The Shining
4. Halloween
5. Nightmare on Elm Street
6. The Exorcist
7. Poltergeist

Alien
Amityville Horror
Arachnophobia
Birds
Buried Alive
Candy Man
Cape Fear
Child’s Play
Copycat
Die Monster Die
Dracula
Exorcist
Faces of Death
Frankenstein
Friday the 13th
Halloween
Homicidal
Interview with a Vampire
Jaws
Misery
Night of the Living Dead
Night on Bald Mountain
Nightmare on Elm Street
Omen
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Pet Cemetery
Poltergeist
Psycho
Relic
Rosemary’s Baby
Schindler’s List
Scream
Seven
Shawshank Redemption
Shining
Silence of the Lambs
Silver Bullet
Terminator
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Traitor Horn
Wait Until Dark
Witchcraft
Wizard of Oz

Friday, Boston, Massachusetts

The devastation in California is unprecedented with hundreds of thousands of acres torched and over two thousand homes burned so far. The cost of the disaster is running into the billions of dollars. Watching the catastrophe unfold on television has a similar feel to the Hurricane Katrina event in Louisiana.

As a viewer it’s difficult to absorb the human reality of what is happening there. The images and reports may be vivid, but it is mind numbing to watch people describe the shock of seeing their home burn to the ground.

In this national tragedy, however there seems to be a more engaged effort by the state government to step up and respond. Although there are frustrations with how helpless the rescuers feel being short of resources, there is a palpable sense of urgency and trying as hard as possible. In contrast to Louisiana’s experience California is at least able to focus on the human tragedy with less energy diverted to anger at the government for failing to step up.

Using Resources

Such unexpected national catastrophes raise legitimate questions about how and when to use our collective resources. In this instance the National Guard in California, like every other state, is leaner and weaker with so many of the soldiers and their heavy equipment deployed in Iraq. When I was in the reserves after active duty our mission in the state (Rhode Island & Massachusetts) was clearly to facilitate the local needs. I was activated for a hurricane and a race riot.

Although we trained for military missions in case we were needed, it was clear, especially in the National Guard as opposed to the units of the Army Reserve, that we were a federal resource available to the state when called upon.

Sitting Back & Watching Fire & War on Television

It has troubled me from the beginning of the Iraq and Afghanistan missions that we did not immediately institute a draft and have the regular troops conduct the war in our collective interests. This is what we did in Vietnam and it is the only way to compel the country to feel part of the mission and share the sacrifice.

Depleting the reserves and asking no one else to do the heavy lifting is wrong.

We have straddled the fence and it has been the disaster that keeps on giving.

Thursday, Boston, Massachusetts

Readers often write and ask me to help them with personal problems and I am happy to help. Among the most interesting submissions includes descriptions of vivid dreams - especially those involving television. Recently a woman named Celia H. sent in the following unique account:

Dear Dr. Will,
I had a very vivid dream this week that really disturbed me. I was wondering if you could interpret its meaning and offer me your insight,
Thanks, Celia

Here’s Celia’s Dream:

“I dreamt that I was waiting back stage at American Idol Show waiting to perform. There was great pressure for me to do well and I was petrified. But the worst part was that I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I had no talent! What should I sing? A country song? Rock? What?

I heard booing from the audience and Justin Timberlake came off stage sweating. He looked at me and said, “that’s a rough crowd out there! You are so screwed!”

I was then introduced and went on stage. I stared at the silent audience and I broke down crying. I turned to Paula Abdul and said, “I’m sorry, I have no talent!” She broke into a big smile and said, “we know, dear!”

Then she and the entire audience burst out laughing. I looked down at the crowd and noticed my parents were in the front row laughing along with everyone else. I woke up sweating. What is this dream telling me!?

In either case, you are living in dread fear that you have no real ability and that sooner or later your ineptitude will be shown to the world. American Idol represents the ultimate illustration of showcasing talent.

Since you are humiliated in this most public forum, it means that you are suffering from grandiosity in your need to have the world see your incompetence. The presence of your parents is significant. They know your inadequacies better than anyone. Thus their participation adds validity to the dream. Perhaps you really do not have any talent after all.

But cheer up! Most people don’t. You are normal and not a freak of nature like the most exquisitely talented. We recommend long term therapy and career counseling. Have a great day!

Wednesday, Fort Wayne, Indiana

Dr. Gunnar Ollsen is a senior research fellow at the Teletherapy Institute in Fowler Indiana. He was born in Holland and emigrated to the U.S. as a teenager. He became addicted to television, typically devoting over one hundred hours each week to watching. Sent by his parents to counseling, he then developed a reaction formation and became committed to spreading the idea that television is destroying American civilization. He now devotes his life to the science of Teletherapy - the study of hidden meanings in television programs. He sent this note to me:

Dr. Will,

Lately I have been asked to define what it means to be normal. So, based on my extensive study of television I believe I am more than qualified to answer. Here are some ideas:

The fundamental characteristic of understanding your family’s dysfunction is how aware you are of what is considered normal. To begin, take this test:

Normal Family: While sitting around the dinner table, they discuss a news story about a crime in their community
Abnormal Family: While sitting around the dinner table, they discuss bail issues for their family member who was involved in a crime in their community

Normal Family: The parents are consistently and actively involved in school activities
Abnormal Family: The parents are consistently and actively suing the local schools

Normal Family: At a concert, family members scan and appreciate the skill of all the participating musicians
Abnormal Family: At a concert, at least one member of the family becomes erotically transfixed by the nail polish of the Oboe player

Normal Family: Over the years, the family has accumulated a wide variety of memories and stories about family vacations
Abnormal Family: Over the years have accumulated a wide variety of memories and stories about family vacations which include at least eleven instances of members vomiting alcohol in a public place

Normal Family: Drops money into the collection plate at church on Sunday
Abnormal Family: Makes change from the collection plate at church on Sunday

Normal Family: Punishes their child for their misbehavior at school
Abnormal Family: Sues the school for punishing their child

Normal Family: Spends time training their new dog to be friendly to visitors
Abnormal Family: Spends time training their new dog to attack

One reliable method for determining whether you are normal or abnormal is to use an example of your art work. By analyzing how you draw another individual, the scientists can ascertain your mental health. Try this exercise:

On a clean sheet of paper, and using a crisply sharpened pencil with thick lead, draw a stick figure picture of your father, your mother, and your oldest sister (if you do not have a sister, imagine you did and draw her). Do not use the real life individuals as models, or even photographs. Draw from memory and your own unconscious. Draw rapidly and without thinking. Don’t try to trick or out-think the scientists. It never works and they can tell when you have tried to cheat. This will reflect badly on your score.

Do not edit or revise the picture. But immediately send it to the staff at the Nick-at-Nite Personality Institute in Jonesborough, Tennessee. The results will be mailed to you within 7-10 weeks. Good luck!

Tuesday, Lafayette, Indiana

Watching the exciting American League Championship series won by the Boston Red Sox, there were several occasions when the managers decided to change pitchers. As the cameras focused on the huddle surrounding the outgoing pitcher while they all waited for the new man to come into the game, what I noticed was the amount of time every single player turned around and spit!. In some cases they spewed every couple of seconds!

And of course I understand the need for men who chew tobacco to spit. Although this too is revolting, the spewing is a necessity. But even here most have the decency to spit into a cup or a spittoon. (Can you imagine having a career that required spittoon maintenance?) No here I am referring to the impulse to just spit out whatever has accumulated in your maw that the rest of us seem to be able to tolerate or…get this…swallow!

Why is that so many men, especially athletes, feel the need to expectorate in public on lawns, sidewalks, streets and parks? Certainly over the years I have had some few occasions when I felt this compulsion, but it is rare and usually associated with having a cold or chest congestion. I certainly don’t turn and repeatedly let fly like these ballplayers.

Now without getting too graphic, I have also noticed that most of the players with this discharge compulsion most often have very little saliva that needs to be expelled. In other words, at the very least it seems they could hold off, let some of their apparently unbearable mouth flood build up and blow it out far fewer times.

In New York City it is a decades old tradition that riders are warned that spitting will not be tolerated in the subways. I presume this is because chronic spraying was a serious problem way back when in the subway system. They also outlawed smoking years ago. yet this ban makes perfect sense to me because I understand a concept of addiction. People addicted to tobacco need help in curtailing their habit in certain situations. But is spitting really to be compared with addiction of smoking?

Certainly some athletes are able to control this impulse. For example, I don’t remember ever seeing a basketball player hawk a lewie onto the court. I don’t think hockey players spit much, because of the danger of fouling the ice surface. Football players probably don’t spit a lot because of the risk of blow back into their own face mask.

The point here is that, in my judgment, spitting in public is a disgusting habit that we have tolerated far too long. We’ve spent too much time looking the other way and ignoring this grotesque anti-social habit. I don’t want to be exposed to your internal body fluids. With new strains of germs and super bugs out there, we can ill afford to have the infected saliva of millions of uncouth slobs strewn about the streets and sidewalks of America.

I say we pass a law that demands that men keep their liquids inside where they belong! If you continue to offend we can make ou wear the spit mask that the police sometimes use. Until then, if you must expel some saliva, for the love of God use the restroom!

Let’s join together and stop public spitting now before something the worse happens: WOMEN WHO SPIT!!

Oh the humanity!

Monday, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Every mental health and medical professional utilizes the fourth version of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM-IV) to diagnose psychological problems in individuals. This thick tome lists every mental disorder recognized by the experts, categorizes them by type and describes their symptoms.

There is no real reason for you to own this document. However, if you see it in the library, a bookstore or your doctor’s office while he is out of the room, thumb through it and see if you can find a description of someone you know. Or who knows, perhaps you will see yourself?

Periodically I have shared both common and rare psychological problems that are described in the DSM-IV. Today let’s look at one of these psychological illnesses that has a very early onset in life. It is called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and as the name suggests, it is a psychological problem that arises in young people.

The mental health community has long agreed that it is inappropriate to diagnose anyone with anti-social personality disorder under the age of 18. However, if they give a child a diagnosis of Conduct Disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, it is essentially raising a red flag that the child is on their way to some serious adult psychological problems.

This is a very gray area because for a lot of parents, it is difficult to distinguish between the normal rebellions of an adolescent and signs that they are headed for serious adult issues. Most parents have times when they worry that their child is troubled. In the majority of cases, however, it is just the normal ups and downs associated with the chemical explosions we call puberty.

So let’s look at what the actual symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder are (from the DSM-IV and offer some illustrations. See if you recognize your child yourself in these descriptions. maybe you will see yourself.

Symptoms: In children & adolescents, a pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least six months, during which four (or more) of the following are present:

1. Often loses temper:
- At least three times each week, your child throws an eating utensil at someone in the family.
- Your daughter has exploded in rage when asked the question "how are you?"
- There are at least 15 holes in the sheet rock inside your son’s bedroom closet.

2. Often argues with adults:
- In school testing your child scores in the 99th percentile for aptitude as an attorney
- Although your child has failed every class during his senior year, he is offered a full debating scholarship to college.
– You have given written permission for your child’s teacher to gag him.

3. Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules:
- Your child has spent at least two summers at a youth offender’s work camp
- Your child has never said the word yes, ever.

4. Often deliberately annoys people:
- Your daughter routinely uses the “F” word in casual speech
- Every student and teacher at your daughter’s school applauds wildly when she strikes out at a softball game
- Your child has been slapped in frustration by the family minister.

5. Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehaviors:
- Your ten-year-old son has turned you in to the tax authorities in order to avoid punishment for a prank.
- Your teenage daughter planted evidence on an elderly lady at a neighborhood store to cover her own shoplifting.

6. Is often touchy or easily annoyed by others:
- Your daughter’s first response to every inquiry is to tsk loudly in disgust
- Your son’s first response to every inquiry is the phrase, "yeah, right, butthead!"

7. Is often angry and resentful:
- The door to your daughter’s bedroom has severe damage from being repeatedly slammed shut.
- At least once a week your son has violent dreams and damages property while sleepwalking.

8. Is often spiteful and vindictive:
- After being disciplined for a small matter, your young son plants a small bomb under your car.
- Every essay your daughter has ever written in school details a plan of revenge against you and the family.

Friday, Dallas, Texas

The University of Southern California football team traveled to South Bend for their game this weekend with Notre Dame. As they approached the airport the pilots flew directly into a vicious thunderstorm that rocked the plane so violently that passengers were thrown out of their seats!

The players and the coaches said it was absolutely "terrifying." In fact the plane had to abort it’s first landing attempt and circled for twenty minutes before trying again. I have a question: what were these morons at the controls,and the nitwits in the tower thinking, to try this approach into some of the worst storm weather we have had in the Midwest this year?

Any peek at the doppler made it clear that the thunderstorms and…oh by the way…the twister south of the airport around the same time made a landing risky! It drives me crazy when pilots, knowing that passengers are feeling vulnerable in their care, take unnecessary risks of extreme discomfort if not actual danger.

Flyers who cope well generally do so by shutting out their anxieties and trusting the system. In other words, they use therapeutic denial. And why not, it’s actually the only strategy that we really have in such situations of helplessness. But for many this distraction strategy is paper thin. Many react emotionally at the first signs that something is not “normal.”

I assume after a century of commercial flight experience, the industry understands this and takes measures to alleviate passenger concerns. Evidently the morons flying the USC team didn’t get the memo or are rejects from better airlines.

I confess to zero tolerance for idiots with cowboy confidence who take risks with my life sitting helplessly in the back of the plane. As far as I am concerned all the boneheads associated with this frightening escapade should be looking for work today. Because I have to fly again tomorrow!