Friday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

There is no accounting for the whacked judgement of people. My friend Amy pointed out the irony of the media interviewing the woman identified as “O.J.’s girlfriend.”  As she observed, “You know that SOMEWHERE some nice guy is looking for a nice girl and is thinking, "I can’t believe I’m losing to THIS guy!"

And of course she is right. And it makes me wonder about the judgement of every party concerned in these soap opera scenarios. You are the love interest of O.J. Simpson? Can you say issues? In addition to morbid curiosity, as a therapist I would be very interested to speak to her about her desires and expectations. The same goes for the man who is bitterly pining away at the prospect of losing her affections. What is it he sees in her that has captured his emotions?

Speak to anyone who does counseling for a living - psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, pastoral counselor, life coach or guidance counselor. They will tell you that, unless they have become hardened and bitter themselves, we never cease to be amazed at the blind denial and staggering stupidity of people who attach themselves to an obviously maladjusted individual. They will also confess the joy they experience when helping someone with a desire to change to make their life and relationships work.

It’s one thing to tolerate the narcissism and antisocial behavior in your own family from whom there is less escape - that’s a painful but different struggle. No, we are referring to the individuals who plow ahead into a relationship with someone who cannot follow the rules, hurts other people, hurts children, hurts them and refuses to acknowledge that their approach to life is a dead end street. Of course I am aware of the unconscious, self-defeating dynamic of trying to rescue someone whose illness is rooted in tragic childhood traumas of abuse and neglect.

Nonetheless, an hour of television watching educates even the most obtuse about the dynamics of co-dependence, unhealthy living and bad choices. Whoever has caught your eye, they have a clone, a doppleganger on a television show. They appear everywhere - Law & Order, Missing Without a Trace, Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer. Resources abound!

Fill out the profile on eHarmony or Match.com and get with the program. Local law enforcement will be grateful for a few less domestic violence calls.

If you have an unquenchable desire for a complex person, for heaven’s sake, go to therapy and try to find at least a Monk!