Thursday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

Sean Boyd was Dr. Will’s patient for two years as part of a court ordered agreement to be treated for anger management. He was a Catholic priest for six years but left as a result of a fist fight with his Bishop over Bingo receipts. He now owns a pub in Wheaton, Illinois called “The Irish Brogue.” He has devoted his spare time to a newsletter for ex-priests and nuns called “The Lost Frock.”

Dr. Will,

As you now I have spent the past twenty years of my life dedicated to having Mr. Johnny Appleseed canonized as a saint. I am happy to announce that we are making some headway. I had a great conversation in my pub with Father Jim Collison a parish priest from Fort Wayne Indiana - which as you know is where Johnny (I should say, "Saint Johnny") is buried.

He tells me his cousin Whitney actually works in the Vatican and knows the folks who work in the canonization department (part of his job is getting them coffee and cannolis every morning). What luck! He has promised to personally intervene on behalf of our efforts to finally recognize the great fertilizer himself. I should be hearing something soon.

On another front, I was contacted through my website by a man in Louisville Kentucky who believes he is a descendent of Appleseed. His claim is based on the behavior of his son, Willy, who has for some unknown reason taken up the habit of walking around his community planting apple seeds on people’s lawns. The father claims Willy had never heard of Johnny Appleseed but one day put a cooking pot on top of his head and began roaming around the neighborhood with a trowel. Now, while it’s possible that little Willy has gone around the bend, who knows? This could be Johnny reaching out across time and space to nudge us along with the canonization process.

In any case, it’s amazing to me that it is taking this long. I mean here is Mother Teresa speeding along in the process and Appleseed can’t get arrested! And think about what he accomplished. Here it was, just after the turn of the nineteenth century and Johnny sets out from Boston and walks! to Indiana carrying bags of seeds. (Yes, you read that right - he walked!) And as he went around the country he planted seeds and talked to animals. I mean, isn’t this the exact same approach Francis of Assisi used?

Everyone who met him remarked at how kind he was and gentle with animals. He even took a caring interest in insects. Right there! Let me tell you that if you have a warm emotional reaction to mosquitoes and horse flies, you’re guaranteed to be in the heavenly Kingdom as far as I’m concerned! According to someone who knew him well, Appleseed was camping in the woods and noticed that mosquitoes were flying into his fire and being burned. “Good,” you say!? Not Johnny! He put out the fire and said “why should I have a comfortable fire if it results in killing God’s creatures?” Whoa!

There are many stories about Johnny Johnny Appleseed’s generosity. He gave away his clothing and dressed in rags and he never wore shoes, no matter what the weather. It is a miracle he lived to be nearly 70 years old. He is buried in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Here are Johnny Appleseed’s Saintly credentials: