Wednesday, Lafayette, Indiana

When you watch television can you tell which characters are emotionally stable and which are unbalanced? Are you able to spot those who are at risk for mental disorders? Here is an example to test your knowledge. Which of these two classic characters do you think had better self esteem: Herman Munster or Mary Richards?

Think for a minute and write your answer down in a number two pencil.

If you said Herman Munster, excellent!Does this surprise you? It should not. Herman is the better adjusted of the two. After all, Herman is a severely, cosmetically challenged man, deemed hideous in appearance by almost any standard criteria of beauty in America. Everywhere he goes he is met with reactions of revulsion to outright terror. Small children flee from his presence. And yet, Herman felt great about himself as a person. How can this be? Is he in severe denial? Perhaps. But I believe Herman was aware of the reactions of people around him, but he saw it as their bias, not his problem. Despite his frequent frustrations with life’s circumstances, Herman knew he had value as a person.In contrast, Mary Richards, while seen as beautiful, effervescent, and highly attractive by all who met her, feels quite poorly about her core value as an individual. She is constantly struggling to feel positively about herself. In constant need of encouragement from others, she has an instinct to put the other above herself in almost every instance. It is very helpful to Mary that she is confronted daily with Ted Baxter, a regressed, marginally functional man with a narcissistic personality. By seeing Ted, she is reminded that her own self, so routinely under attack by her negative inner voices, must have some worth after all. But in the end she remains unconvinced.It is not surprising that Mary cannot seem to fulfill her greatest desire for a permanent, long term relationship in marriage. By remaining isolated from an intimate relationship (in sharp contrast to Herman, it should be noted), she betrays her chronic struggle with self doubt.If there was only one therapist available with one open appointment, my recommendation would be for mary to take it ahead of Herman.