Friday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

According to the annual survey in Money Magazine Lubbock, Texas is the most desirable place to live in the United States. Say what!? 

I have been to Lubbock and no offense to the fine people there, as a visitor it would not make any list I put together. While crime and home prices are low, in most other ways it falls well short of national averages.

Which is a reminder that, although stating the obvious, the quality of your life is an utterly subjective idea. I relocated from New York City to Lafayette, Indiana and had many family and friends mystified by the decision. Leaving the culture, restaurants and opportunities in New York for the farm belt seemed extreme. I must admit when I first came to the Midwest I was bothered by the inconvenience I faced as a consumer. There were too few stores, no Italian restaurants and - horrors! - NO DELI’S.

Over the years with the growth of the city and especially the emergence of the Internet, there is essentially nothing I miss as far as consumer convenience is concerned. And it has been a delightful surprise that many other aspects of life here are vastly superior to the city. Our home prices and taxes are a fraction of what I used to pay. And by comparison there is never enough traffic to be really bothersome. We now have several wonderful restaurants (including two excellent Italian restaurants), an authentic Irish pub and several supermarkets with full delicatessens. We cook more at home which is now the best restaurant in town. And then of course we have Purdue University with big time sports and cultural opportunities.

When I was living in New York, no matter which direction I traveled it would take more than an hour to leave the crowds and intense development. Here I can be in the country in minutes driving through farm fields and wide open spaces. I can get a tee time whenever I desire and play on fabulous courses built by Pete Dye and hale Irwin, among others. The bottom line is that I have not only adapted, I have carved out a life and lifestyle that is utterly delightful. Focusing on my family and friends, along with my work I am as happy here as I ever was anywhere else. For those who are restless in place, I might propose that while relocating may seem to be the problem solver, I am rarely convinced that it works. As I have told the students: if you grow up in Iowa and develop a burning passion to surf, yeah, you have to move. But short of that circumstance, I belive this:

Life can be loved wherever you make the commitment to love your life.

So here I am in Indiana, holding on to my Brooklyn accent. And I really don’t miss anything about New York. Well, all right maybe the ocean. We don’t have an ocean. But according to Al Gore … well, who knows?

Thursday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

Senator Larry Craig’s Pickle

Idaho Senator Larry Craig is in a world of hurt today following the stunning report that he pleaded guilty to a charge of making a lewd act in an airport men’s room. Whoa!

Making the matter worse is his record as an uncompromising moral conservative who routinely and publicly denounces the moral lapses of others. And now he is accused of violating the very code he so assertively championed. After years of bashing the “gay agenda” and speaking out against the homosexual lifestyle, here he is caught making salacious advances to another man in an airport restroom. Although he now contends that he “is not gay,” he is having difficulty explaining his actions after having pleaded guilty.

Of course this is not the first time a moral conservative has been caught in an embarrassing sexual situation during the very times they were condemning the same behavior by others. The debasement of the culture is a popular theme with many clergy and politicians. And yet here again is one of these loud voices exposed in flamboyant hypocrisy.

What is going on here?

Repression is defined as “the rejection from consciousness of painful or disagreeable ideas, memories, feelings, or impulses.” Our brain protects us from psychological discomfort by blocking thoughts and memories that cause us to become anxious. Repression is very different from suppression. When we knowingly push away an unpleasant thought or feeling, we are suppressing it. We are aware of what we are doing. With repression, however the process is deeply unconscious. In a sense it is like having an internal filter in us that keeps undesirable ideas from even getting through to our conscious awareness.

Psychotherapy is the endeavor that helps remove the filter in a way that feels safe and non-threatening. So, as far as the non-gay Senator is concerned, it raises suspicions that his deeply held homosexual impulses have been kept in check by repression and have been breaking out in certain moments that felt safe. And this works until you get caught and outed by your own careless actions. Time will tell what Senator Craig’s story is and where he goes from here. But it is a cautionary tale about speaking out with intemperate heat judging others.

Remember, especially those claiming to speak on behalf of God, ‘judge not, lest you be judged.”

For a good summary of repression, read Dr. Michale Fenichel’s brief description.

Wednesday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana
Two years ago today Hurricane Katrina blasted the Gulf Coast, devastating hundreds of miles of shore communities. New Orleans was nearly destroyed and more than 100,000 people there lost their homes. And Katrina killed over twelve hundred people. But the event is most remembered not only for the ferocity of the storm itself, but because of the famously failed response of the government and its emergency systems.Mayor Ray Nagin, President Bush, and F.E.M.A. Director Mike Brown (“you’re doing a heck of a job, Brownie!”) The rescue effort was more than bad, it was simply horrendous. And after the storm passed through, thousands of the displaced were sent to shelters where conditions were nearly unbearable. Stranded people waited for days in vain to be evacuated by rescuers, who were overwhelmed by the situation. And it all played out on national television, with riveting scenes of helpless people calling out from rooftops to the helicopters hovering above.But still, it was the failure of the government and those charged with overseeing public safety that were excoriated for their gross failures before and after the storm. Why weren’t the inadequate levies addressed years before? Why was building allowed in areas so vulnerable to a gulf hurricane? Where was the coordinated evacuation plan?

What was particularly infuriating to many Americans was the government’s failure in light of the September 11th terrorist attacks that made clear the need for clear preparation for civil disaster.

What Does It Mean? 

It doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to understand that in any society its government functions like a parent in a family. As personally independent as we like to believe we are in life, it is ultimately the responsibility of the government to take care of the big issues that reach beyond our control. The government is in charge of our safety from foreign enemies and keeping civil order, for instance. When “Big Daddy” falls asleep on the job, is incompetent or otherwise acts irresponsibly, the result is that the children develop “issues.” These issues have to do with trust and security. And these issues cannot be solved by Dr. Phil.
Soooo… since the government failed at every level to prevent or respond to this great natural cataclysm, it’s not surprising that the citizens are experiencing neurotic conflict - frustration, anger and bickering among other problems.While some of us may strut around feeling flush with the power of our individual capacity, it is hubris to think that we can live free and safe without the collective efforts we call society, and which functions through government. When that government proves to be incompetent or uncaring, we can choose to either surrender to our feelings of impotence. Or we can stand up and together fix the problem. The latter is the approach I always recommend to people who come to me for counseling and who are suffering from the consequences of their own inadequate, incompetent or uncaring parents.

If the leaders we have are not up to the task of parenting the country, we need to find better parents!

Tuesday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

Jake Inkman has been a freelance journalist for 30 years. He was treated by Dr. Will for 8 years for depression which before long spun out of control into an anxiety disorder. He lives and travels to news hotspots in a Luxury Motor Home and reports to major news organizations. He claims he has been detained by government agencies on numerous occasions for leaking inside information. Although he has not yet been formally published he claims to be the source of inside information that, in his words, “other low life, swamp scum, so-called journalists steal from me and put their own name on it!” Here is his recent report to me:

Well, it finally happened. The Other Shoe dropped. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned after months of pressure from both sides of the aisle. My secret source inside the White House (let’s call him “Deep Bowel”) gave me the inside dope on the matter this past weekend. I was met at a Georgetown parking lot, blindfolded and driven to a remote area in Virginia. (Despite their precautions the driver openly chatted. When he said, “can you believe they’re building a new Wendy’s on this corner where the old Rally’s burned down?” I knew exactly where we were.) I was led into a house to meet my contact and here is what I learned:

-Don’t believe the media hype. The real reason Gonzales resigned is that he offended Vice President Dick Cheney. Lynn Cheney asked the Gonzales family to dog sit for a weekend. When they returned home the poodle was shaved bald! The reason for the incident we are told was that the Attorney General and his family wanted to make sure there was no bug planted in the poodle’s black fur. When Cheney saw the dog he called the President and ordered him to make Gonzales “go away.” When Mr. Bush hesitated, Cheney threatened ominously, “which would you prefer, a dignified exit or a water board treatment down at Langley?” Bush chuckled and asked, "who are you talking about, Al or me?” There was dead silence on the phone and Bush, feeling the threat and with sweat on his brow, said, “I’ll take care of it, Sir!”

- In the aftermath of the Gonzales resignation the White House has been burning up the phones trying to find someone willing to take over. According to my source, “they are up to the letter K in the phone book with no luck so far."

- I have it on good authority that Bill Clinton, believing he was unobserved, hurled a spitball at the back of Barack Obama backstage at a recent democratic debate. When confronted by a witness the former President had him hustled off by the Secret Service.

- A reliable source inside Fox News swears that after most episodes of the Beltway Boys, Mort Kondracke & Fred Barnes, overwhelmed by with their responsibility to put a positive face on the Administration, can often be heard openly weeping in their dressing rooms.

- The White House is feverishly preparing for the September report on progress in Iraq. Some believe that the President will announce some modest troop reductions to ease the pressure from Congress and the public. But it has come to my attention that some in the Administration want to hunker down and actually ramp up the effort. To that end a proposal is being floated to allow illegal aliens in the U.S. to gain citizenship immediately after a one year tour of duty in the war. An aide to the President gleefully blurted, “talk about killing two birds with one stone! No pun intended!” he joked. Upon hearing the report Nancy Pelosi began banging her head on the office desk.

Monday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

Freeze, Dirt Bag!
The Police Power Fantasy

For several decades America viewers have been intensely interested in police dramas. The trend probably began with the early TV classic, Dragnet, starring Jack Webb as Sergeant Joe Friday of the Los Angeles Police Department. And in the 1970’s we had the legendary Steve McGarrett, head of the state police department, Hawaii Five-O. In fact, there has never been a season were a police show has not been in the top ten for viewer popularity. These days programs like Law & Order, C.S.I., Without A Trace, The Closer and Criminal Minds draw millions of fans.

What Does It Mean?

What is the perpetual appeal of police dramas? For one thing, viewers experience psychological relief by watching these programs. How? The reason is that, in real life, we often feel vulnerable and powerless in the face of naked aggression by thugs, crack heads and other low life hoodlums who act out their anti-social impulses on innocent people. For instance, if we happen upon some crime in progress, our good judgment about self preservation makes it unlikely that we will actually intervene. Yet we might have a fleeting fantasy about donning a uniform and beating the perpetrator to a multi-colored pulp. But this is obviously an unrealistic aspiration. (FYI: If you actually do inappropriately intervene in crime scenes, see a therapist immediately). Most of us experience the painful frustration of our impotence. We are enraged, but we can do nothing about it.

These feelings echo back to our earliest experiences as a powerless infant. When we see law breakers, we transfer that infantile rage onto the perpetrator. It becomes deeply satisfying to us personally when we see them get their just due. We take it personally when someone gets away with something unjustly. In this context, television police officers and detectives represent our own desires to step into a scene and discipline the misbehavior of rule breakers.

Joe Friday & Steve McGarrett: Wired Too Tight!

But what is the cost to the police officers who actually do this work? The television shows often depict the price they pay. Law & Order SVU viviidly portrays the impact of this difficult work on the personal lives of the officers. Even in the classic shows, what about Joe Friday and Steve McGarrett? What is it doing to their inner selves? Is the cost too high? Certainly the pressures of always assuming responsibility for overcoming evil are enormous. So let’s look at these two men of distinguished valor. Of the two, which one seems to have a more active private life of recreation? If you said Joe Friday, you are completely wrong and you have just made an impaired judgment. (If this is a consistent pattern in your life, it would be unwise for you to seek a career in law enforcement or the hazardous material handling industry)

If you said Steve McGarrett, you are quite observant. Steve often takes time to surf, date, and hang-glide. In contrast, Joe Friday lives a more sparse existence. He usually reports very little interest in outside activities. His formal dress and demeanor would make him stand out in a crowd and evoke more suspicion among strangers. He also has a penchant to engage in police activity on his off duty time. Can there be any doubt that, even on his off duty time, if Joe saw a person parking in a handicapped spot at the grocery store he would intervene and compel the offender to move or face arrest? Add to this the fact that his smoking would dissuade a significant number of friendships and suitors, and you are looking at a man who is more socially isolated than he ought to be.

The result of this difference is that Steve McGarrett has built into his life many more opportunities to seek relief from the stress of his work. He is far less likely to decomensate into derangement than Sgt. Joe. While there is always the hope that Joe will change his ways and find some healthy diversions, there is as yet no indications of his doing so. And based on his present patterns, he is far more likely to experience a psychological melt down into madness. If you saw this, you are to be congratulated. You have demonstrated keen Teletherapeutic insight.

Friday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

CNN reporter Christiane Amanpour is in the midst of a detailed report on three of the world’s most controversial religions: Islam, Christianity and Judaism. The title of the three episode report is provocatively “God’s Holy Warriors.”

She has been exploring the current global tensions caused by the extremists in each religion. It is a sobering account that exposes the curious, even bizarre practices and traditions that characterize each tradition. And these practices and beliefs, held with rigid fervor by the adherents, serve to separate and isolate the followers from the rest of us who follow other traditions.

You are either with us, or your are the enemy of our God! We have been ordained to carry out our God’s will to eradicate the earth of the non-believers. We will do this through rejection. We will delclare that you are are unclean. We will confidently assure you that you are eternally condemned, because you do not confess what we believe. And we will do it with murder if necessary.

It is this intolerance for the non-believers that is the scourge of modern life. Ascribing to the unseen creator a set of beliefs and behaviors to be followed under pain of exclusion and death is a human plague on the world. Whatever the formulation, whatever the creed’s name - and none are immune from the psychotic renderings of their own members - to rationalize rejection, violence and even the slaughter of innocence in the name of God is worth fighting.

How is your spiritual & faith lived out among those around you?
What does your conscience tell you to do about those who believe differently?

If it doesn’t inspire you to love and forgiveness above all, it isn’t good religion!

Thursday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana
The Very Reverend Ralph Berry was in therapy with Dr. Will for one year during which time he experienced a radical, religious conversion. He left his job as a catalytic converter mechanic and home studied to become a minister. He now leads a small congregation in Carmel, Indiana. Here is his recent note to me that he asked me to share, entitled:

The Lord Spaketh to Me

 Greetings Degraded Sinners,Let’s begin with a brief prayer:“Oh God, Forgive them, they turned their back on you and you must smite them!”Let me begin by reminding you of a cold truth: The nation is rotting from within as a result of the constant debauchery of the citizens with their revolting habits and debased values. So we are all simply marching in place waiting for the final moment when we are flushed down the holy drain into the sewer of hell. And on this day the world will see the final proof of God’s great love for humanity!And now let’s turn to the issues that have the Lord in a righteous fury today. God came to me in a vision and this is what was spaketh unto me:

“The people in the world have so irked me that I have sent Hurricane Dean to smite them. And believe me this is just Chapter One in a long, involved play of many acts where God tears through the sinners with a mighty wind!”

“Ventriloquist Mr. Terry Fator is the winner of the NBC show “America’s Got Talent. And the reason he awed the crowd and the judges is quite simple. It was ME speaking and singing through the puppet on his lap. I gave out many secret messages about the Last Days intended for the ears of a few selected divine agents. That’s all you need to know. If you inquire farther you will be smote.”

“I am grieved in spirit by the cheating ways of professional baseball players. And so I might be in the mood to turn the major league baseball season on its head by having the current last place teams suddenly become te first pace teams. So be careful if you wager - you will be weeping on your ticket stubs as you watch the Texas Rangers pop the celebration corks this Fall.”

“And finally, keep your eye on the news. A certain famous atheist will soon become a human roman candle streaking across the sky. The thunder you will hear is my laughter!”

And so my divine vision ended and the Lord retuned to the holy place beyond. But take my advice, repent or you too will be smote. Now bathe three times in a clean river and send your financial reparations back to me, beseeching forgiveness. If not, you will be smote!”Think about it! Have a blessed day.

Wednesday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

A new poll reveals the disturbing fact that most Americans do not read books. In fact, 25% of us read no books at all! Women and seniors read more books than men and the young. Their favorites include popular novels and books with religious themes. And even among those who did read, they were not exactly avid. On average we started five books each year but how many were finished fell short of even that humble number.

For several years book sales have been flat and there is no sign of the trend changing. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the major contributor to the trend is the rise of electronic media, especially the Internet. Also not surprising it was older people who read more with younger Americans reporting more time reading on the Internet.

For two out of three readers religious books and the Bible were among the favorites. And serious works such as politics, poetry and literature were read by a paltry five percent of readers.

So what you say? Well, the convenience of using the Internet and television as our source of news and information is understandable. But clearly there is a distinction between the succinct, truncated summaries found online and the in depth analysis available in longer form. How do we calculate the impact on society with an electorate that is increasingly voting based on shallow opinions and views fed on a diet of sound byte cable news reporting and talk radio bombast? I confess that most of my own information about important social issues is often the result of brief news summaries. While literacy may be at an all time high, our choices of what to read are more fast food and snacks than the hearty fare that keeps us healthy. Clearly America has a reading disorder.

Tuesday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

We all feel pressure and its consequent stress. But how can you ascertain whether it is simple life tress and when it indicates that there is something more seriously wrong that needs professional attention? For example, are you perspiring right now just reading this? Are you fidgeting in your chair for no apparent reason? Do you find some things funny when others do not? Or, do you feel sad when those around you are laughing? Does the sound of someone’s voice around feel like fingernails on a chalkboard?

All of us wonder at times if the pressure might be getting the best of us? Perhaps you have come to a place in your life where you are questioning your own stability. It could be that you are experiencing high levels of stress. But don’t worry, Dr. Will can reassure you. By taking the following quiz, you will not only discover what might be wrong with you; it will heal you at the same time. Isn’t that great?

2. I sometimes become hyper-focused on a small object (e.g., an insect or the pattern on someone’s tie) and lose track of what I had been doing. Y/N

3. Routine errands to the store cause me to fear for my life. Y/N

4. While watching television, I sometimes talk back to the screen. Y/N

5. In order to remain calm, I often have to breathe into a paper bag. Y/N

6. Bathing has become exhausting. Y/N

7. When sitting alone in a room, I find myself staring blankly with my mouth hanging wide open. Y/N

8. Without any prior experience or preparation, I have begun a dangerous new hobby (unsupervised bungee jumping, e.g.). Y/N

9. At least once each week, I spend one hour hiding under a piece of furniture in my home. Y/N

10. In spite of my awareness about the negative consequences, I am consistently, physically attracted to individuals with whom I have little or nothing in common. Y/N

How many “yes” answers did you have?

0-3 You are in excellent shape! There are few indications of serious stress in your life. If, in spite of this low score, you still feel that you are seriously stressed, the problem may be unconscious. Speaking with a trained psychotherapist about your past life experiences may help you unlock the key to your distorted sense of reality.

4-6 You are experiencing moderate stress. Obviously enough symptoms are present to warrant your attention. Try a new regimen of physical and deep breathing exercises, and consider seeking the help of a trained mental health professional about strategies for relaxing, recouping energy, and regaining perspective.

7-10 You are under stress and your health may be at risk. But remain calm; you will probably be fine. But it is imperative that you regain your composure and reconnect with other people to regroup and reassert your boundaries. You should schedule an appointment with your physician and also a trained mental health professional. There are excellent treatments available and you can feel better in before you know it.

Hope this has changed your day!

Friday, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle was an enormously popular classic animated program in the 1960’s that featured Rocky, the flying Squirrel and his pal Bullwinkle the moose. Among the colorful characters were the Russian spy Boris Badenov and his assistant Natashe Fatale & the elusive Mr. Big, as well as Mr. Peabody, the intellectual dog and his “pet boy” Sherman. The adventures of these characters were a staple for both children and adults for a decade. If you are not familiar with the characters check out these YouTube clips of the show:

Rocky & Bullwinkle

Mr. Peabody & Sherman

What can we learn from these characters? In a nutshell we can come to understand important psychological principles using these television characters. Let’s consider one illustration. I call it:

Have you ever noticed that certain people bother you more than others? Of course you have. For each of us, there are certain individuals whose very being is a source of deep stress and anxiety. Whenever they walk into the room, psychological bile rises in your psyche (if real bile rises in you throat, this could indicate an organic illness).

And what about the reverse situation? Have you yourself ever been a source of persistent irritation to another person? Certainly you have. (If you cannot name one person who is repelled by your presence, ask family members and friends to help you identify those individuals who have spoken hatefully about you.) Every person has experienced the difficulty of rubbing someone the wrong way, or realizing that someone becomes agitated whenever you are around them.

Have you ever asked yourself what is at the root of these hostile feelings? Probably not. In psychology, the term coined by the great Carl Jung is the “shadow.” It refers to the phenomenon of seeing qualities in this irritating other person which you yourself possess but try very hard to hide.

For example, if you become very agitated around someone who is very aggressive, it probably indicates that you repress your own strong hostility. Seeing their anger reminds us about our own rage and so we become uncomfortable. Very often the qualities we work so hard to project to the outside world are a reaction to some very strong impulses we actually have in the exact opposite direction! Isn’t this fantastic to know? Take any quality you project, and you can surmise that deep inside you there are unconscious urges to do and be the reverse!

So, taking this fascinating notion of the shadow, let’s consider question two above. What qualities does Mr. Peabody have? What image does he project to the world? If you said intellectual, you are quite right. So what is the opposite of intellectual? Stupid, dense, thick! And who does this better describe - Rocky or Bullwinkle? Yes, of course, the Obtuse Moose! Thus Bullwinkle, with his open display of moronia, complete with the voice of an imbecile, would expose to Mr. Peabody the part of himself which is also a dull witted ass. Therefore…

Bullwinkle is Mr. Peabody’s shadow!

See!? Television analysis has given you insight into an important psychological dynamic that is otherwise hard to describe.