Lafayette, IndianaIt has always been curious to me that a level of one’s fame does not coincide with the actual number of people who are fans. For example, if you ask people if they know who Larry King, Chris Matthews, Wolf Blitzer and Jerry Seinfeld, are most of course answer yes. If you ask if they are about equally famous, again most have a sense that they are all very well known.

The fact is, however that on nights when Seinfeld was on the air he was watched by between 20 and 30 million people - approaching 10 percent of the entire population. Larry King and Wolf Blizter, on the other hand are routinely watched by a number in the few hundred thousand at most. It tells us that there is a great divide between the perception of someone’s appeal and the reality of their appeal. Clearly many millions would opt for a half hour of Seinfeld than CNN, FOX NEWS or MSNBC in prime time.

What Does This Mean?

It indicates that despite how much you might enjoy them, in the end the reality for cable news shows is a mad scramble for viewers. The more viewers, obviously the more advertising revenue. When the audience shrinks too far producers are frantic, the numbers being so low the show’s very existence is in jeopardy. The network must do whatever is necessary survive. Now for hit shows like Gray’s Anatomy, American Idol or Seinfeld, losing a percentage of audience is problem, but does not demand drastic corrective action. Cable news programs are in a never-ending, desperate challenge to keep viewers. They will do whatever it takes to garner eyes - even if it means resorting to the sensational and the salacious.

The distressing reality is that producers of news programs succumb to the temptation to air shows that will pike an audience. How? They usually do it with guests that they can depend upon to say the most outrageous and inflammatory things - in other words, they make news themselves. So if Hardball’s audience is shrinking, what to do? Put on psycho Ann Coulter to spew about John Edwards (even invoking a phone call from Mr. Edward’s wife) and the whole sorry episode gets in the newspapers and the other programs. This month, when ratings are watched carefully, we suddenly see a spate of news cable shows with he likes of Paris Hilton, Ann Coulter, Al Sharpton and the rest of their ilk. It makes it clear that program integrity takes a back seat to hyping viewers. And the sad reality is that we are often taken in by the ruse. Are you aware that as a viewer you are being manipulated by the network and the program?

It may be a small step, but my suggestion is that during sweeps month and the noxious shenanigans of the various cable news programs, take a break and find some alternative form of information and entertainment. Watch a rerun or browse the Internet. It’s better than being used for the profit of an already rich, albeit frightened network.

Lafayette, Indiana

Steroids: It’s about more than just numbers!

In the past 10 years five professional wrestlers have died prematurely and in each case the cause of death was complicated by steroid use. And now this week a heinous tragedy occurs in Atlanta when wrestling champion Chris Benoit, 40 years old, strangled his wife Nancy and suffocated their 7 year old son Daniel. He then hung himself. Sure enough steroids were in the house. And this discovery raises suspicion that performance-enhancing drugs may have been a contributing factor in his eruption as a family annihilator.

The term “Family Annihilator” is a real descriptor in the psychiatric literature, referring to parents (almost always fathers) who for some reason explode and kill their family, including children. The cause of this horror is not well known, but the psychotic break that triggers the action comes from some anomaly in their makeup. And mental health experts suspect that the sustained use of anabolic steroids might be a cause for the chemical imbalance that leads to this violent catastrophe.

What is it about us that so many are willing to take dangerous risks - putting our lives in danger - in order to be famous? The use of steroids has been a headline story for many years now, fueled especially by accusations about Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa and several others. But those controversies focus on the impact it has on performance - cheating and inflating statistics.

Today we are talking about another matter entirely. More significant than Bond’s home run numbers is the possibility that steroids can trigger aggression and violence to such a degree that innocent families are at risk for their lives!

If anything constructive comes from this latest hideous episode, maybe it’s taking the issue more seriously than simply couch potato debates about the “integrity of the game.” Swollen sports statistics is an important issue, but creating family annihilators takes precedent.

Let’s start talking about steroids and the lives of children.

Lafayette, Indiana

Why We Watch: Television Character Analysis

Chalk it up to an idle activity, but I have always enjoyed the past time of applying clinical experience and knowledge to television characters. I realize that this contributes very little to society, but is offered as a distraction to the rest of you who - like me - often feels helpless in the face of global suffering and catastrophe. So between my helpless, feckless rantings I bring you some entertaining - but hopefully enlightening insight into some of the television characters that have stayed with us throughout the decades. And among the classics is the venerable Minneapolis anchorman, Ted Baxter. Played to perfection by the late Ted Knight, Baxter was a send up of grandiose television personalities - of pomposity without justification. Ted the narcissist was an exaggerated reflection of many people that we have all encountered.

Regardless of the specifics, there must be some logical explanation for Ted’s constant need for approval, his immature, even infantile demands on those around him, and his inappropriate fantasies of personal grandiosity. The fact that he has survived and even thrived as a local celebrity is testimony to his pluck and determination. He has found himself surrounded by people who, although they clearly recognize his limitations and self-defeating behaviors, nonetheless endure and even actively support him.

And herein lies a secret to Ted Baxter’s survival. Ted has learned to cope by creating a family-like environment at WJM where his co-workers are playing out the role of parents and siblings. Lou Grant and Mary Richards have become like a mother and father to Te, watching over him, disciplining him when necessary, and often excusing his intolerable, childish behavior. Murray and the other staff function like frustrated siblings to Ted.

One can only hope that, over time, Ted will take advantage of this healthy family structure and continue to grow and mature.

And after all, supportive structure with discipline is the recommended long term treatment for those with narcissistic personality.

Cleveland, Ohio

One of the hottest reads of the summer is from the English writer (now an American citizen) Christopher Hitchens, a staple on cable television news programs. He is a crowing opinionator known for flip-flopping fom liberal, Marxist (!) to neo-conservative. He is a close ally of discredited Iraq war architect Paul Wolfowitz.And now we hear him in all his narcissistic glory as America’s bully atheist. His new book God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, is a searing indictment of theistic belief. It is religion, Hitchens asserts, that is responsible for most of the world’s disgraceful violence, genocide and humanity’s inability to function harmoniously. Well, fair enough.

And of course, he’s right. Who among us is not embarrassed by the hideous acts done in the name of God? Hitchens is an imperious personality who appears on many news shows principally because he can be depended upon to say something shocking. If you want to get noticed in the media you can always emulate the Ann Coulter-Al Sharpton marketing strategy for selling books through intemperate words and accusations - such as praising the disgraced, infamous Senator Joe McCarthy & trashing 9-11 widows (Coulter), defending the disturbed teenager Tawana Brawley (Sharpton), or say, by lambasting Mother Theresa as a fraud (Hitchens). Ouch!

For one thing, such career moves do make a person rich. Let’s face it, in American Popular culture it’s a dependable formula: pick any sacred cow, then get on television or in a “respected" magazine then skewer the object of others’ admiration. This works every time.And so it is with citizen Hitchens, the heavy drinking blowhard who celebrates himself and his storied literary history through appearances on ratings-starved American cable news channels with verbal bombast spiced with obscene gestures. Looking for a ratings spike? Bring on the roaring showoff with the British accent & the fawning, irrelevant literary syncophants and call action. It’s "good TV" as they say for Bill O’Reilly, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough and Hannity & Colmes.

Giving Hitchens airtime is a ratings winner reminiscent of Geraldo Rivera’s salad days of trotting out racist skinheads for fistfights as daytime television entertainment.This blowback notwithstanding, Hitchens is indeed right on the money to blast the abominable inclination for organized religion to drift into hatred and social detachment. It is an embarrassment to any thinking person of faith to be unwittingly associated with the murderous actions of extreme ideologies practiced in the name of a divine creator. No matter what stripe - be it Christian, Muslim, Jew or Hindu - dehumanizing others for failing to adhere to the strictures of your own beliefs is a scandalous distortion of the very fundamentals of the divine inspiration of the creed. And it is right to reject and fight against hatred in the name of God. It is an honorable endeavor.But for for Hitchens to claim a connection between the stunning depravity of human cruelty done in the name of a religion with proof of anything beyond his own personal outrage is absurd and an intellectually naive generalization.

Christopher Hitchens: a noisy, inert gasbag and media hound. Ugh!

Say what he will about the saints, but my money is on the Gospel command to love God and my neighbor and its message of faith, hope & love.

Deliver me from Christipher Hitchens. I prefer the guidance and promises of Jesus and his Apostle Paul.

Burlington, Vermont

A recent commercial features Robbie Knievel, son of famed dare devil Evel Knievel, mocking his attempt to jump over several school buses, What impels someone to become a dare devil, risking death as a way of life? Is it raw courage or a flamboyant suicide gesture?
It’s hard to imagine the motivation for someone who takes up a career as a stunt performer, dare devil. The crown prince of this genre is the legendary Evel Knievel. Over the course of his five decade career he broke countless world jumping motorcycle records along with forty broken bones.
Last year Trigger Gumm was injured in a spectacular crash trying to fly over 350 feet on his motorcycle in Oklahoma. Is this sheer insanity? The answer to the question of why is found in the very nickname dare devil. In essence it represents the person’s preoccupation with death. But rather than allowing this focus on death to sink into a depression, these individuals challenge it in a unique way. They turn their inner fears into a life mission and a profitable living.
It is a reaction formation against the normal human fear of death. “If I invite it and survive I have won a battle against the grim reaper.” All in all it is an imaginative adaptation, but clearly not highly recommended.
My advice for the grim is to find a compromise between the two forms of self-destruction. Medication for the depressed and perhaps a season ticket to an amusement park with a frightening roller coaster. Your family will be grateful.

Boston, Massachusetts

Therapists spend a lot of time confronting the problems people have with their conflicted feelings about their self, in other words, their self image. Not surprisingly the challenge is either a distortedly inflated sense of self (narcissism) or a devalued sense of self (depression). The job of the counselor is to help them find the right middle ground - valuing the self but with a capacity for humility. Those who find this balance clearly live the most rewarding lives.

Studies have repeatedly shown that Americans lead he developed world in stress related disorders (25% of us have a significant problem with stress). This means that far too many of us are living with an unacceptable level of angst. What do we do about this? One obvious answer, of course is to get this fixed with the help of a professional - a therapist, clergy counselor or perhaps a life coach. Whichever strategy is chosen the challenge is the same. How do I take care of myself and yet keep my expectations about life’s sufferings in healthy perspective?

I have always been a believer in the power of distraction. We use distraction all the time. We take our mind off the difficulties of our lives by immersing ourselves in an activity that carries us away. Some are highly adaptive - hobbies, involvement with our family or faith group. And some are, of course, maladaptive - drugs, alcohol or addictive habits of television, Internet use or even work.

The use of adaptive distraction is as old as humanity and is not something to be avoided. In fact, it is a crucial life survival skill. But the most organic and native form of distraction is the active engagement with other people who care about us. Time spent with family and close friends offer the solution to the rigors of our stressful lives. These are the people with whom we can candidly share our feelings and who immediately encourage us. These are the individuals that tell us the truth so that our sense of self cannot become over inflated. These are our Refrigerator Rights Friends and they are the most profound source of constructive distraction we can ever bope to find.

How are you distracting yourself?
Are you doing it with useless or harmful habits?
Or are you involved in the life of others who keep you balanced?

Boston, Massachusetts
Smilin’ Serge Simone is a wine expert specializing in the box wines of Mississippi. His given name is Zach O’Shea but after spending three months at a wine training institute in Lyon, France he had his name legally changed. He was in treatment for a narcissistic disorder with Dr. Will and left against advice after four sessions. He stays in contact and publishes The Mississippi Box-O-Wine Journal. He asked me to share it with you. Bonjour, Dr. Will!Greetings from Fayette, MIssissippi, the heart of the state’s boxed wine industry, better known as the Redneck Rhone. Things are great here at The Serge Simone Vinyards. Our crop this season is more than adequate!  Here are some highlights from this season:
- People are paying staggering prices for wines these days - often as much as ten and twelve dollars a bottle! Are you people high? With my expertly packed box of “Ole Miss Card-Onnay” you can get 3 boxes for that price - including shipping! And I even throw in three free mints for the aftertaste.  - I finally got a retail distributor for my “Box-O-Bordough” 2007 grape product. According to Larry, my outside sales rep, The Everything’s A Dollar Store is this close to signing a deal. We would have to share label space with them, but so what? This is great news.

 - Like so many here in this region we are still trying to recover from the devastation of the hurricanes a couple of years ago. Our crop has been marginal at best but we have perfected a process of lacing the juice with a local chemical suggested by a farmer neighbor and it evens out the taste pretty well. We will sell this batch at a deep discount for sure.- Thank God the congress is stalled on Immigration legislation. We are toast if something passes. And let this be a warning to all of you.
 Do you enjoy moderate wine at a super low price?

Are you tired of dealing with glass bottles?

Are you finally convinced about the advantages of cardboard wine containers?

  Then as I have made clear to you in the past, for us to survive we cannot afford workers demanding more than five dollars a day!

Keep America strong! Where are your values?

Have a grape filled day - with Smilin’ Serge Simone

For straight talk about wine: Click Here

Ridgewood, New Jersey

This week the Vatican issued a document that included its Ten Commandments for drivers.

Here is what they offered:

1. You shall not kill
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so
7. Support the families of accident victims
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party
10. Feel responsible toward others

I was especially stuck by numbers 5, 6 and 8. These are the commandments that I have witnessed being violated most frequently on the road.

As for number five, for instance, using a car for power and domination is bad news for many drivers. The staggering number of oversized Sports Utility Vehicles on the road reveal the level of vulnerability these drivers feel on the road. By stepping into their huge tanks, sitting high above other drivers it is the very expression of “power, domination and an occasion for sin.”

Number six assumes that your inebriated friends are willing to respond to charitable coaxing. In my experience the better commandment wold discuss tough love and - on behalf of these dysfunctional friends - demand that they surrender their keys. No easy task for most of us.

And number eight seems a far fetched fantasy in reality. In fact, most of these couples do indeed face each other, in court where their lawyers demonize the other person in the interest of securing a higher financial settlement.
We have a long way to go before we become a society that operates with a consciousness of love and forgiveness. No wonder the Pope often looks burdened and sad.

- You have caused a collision due to misunderstanding the capacity of cruise control

- At least twice a week you drive off the right side of the road

- As a result of your driving record, you are unable to rent a car

- You are no longer able to get collision insurance

- While driving you often turn around to speak with passengers in the back seat

- Your car doors, trunk and engine good are all secured with ropes

- No one in your family will agree to ride in your car

- It took you until you were 28 years old before you could pass your drivers test

- Both of your side view mirrors have been broken off by sideswiping

- As a result of numerous collisions your car is painted four different colors

Ridgewood, New Jersey

A new study looked at the online habits of American teenagers and revealed a stunning amount of candid conversation about drug and alcohol use. The researchers looked at 10 million online messages over the past year and a full two hundred thousand talked about drugs or alcohol use.

Many of the messages shared “helpful” information about various drugs, focusing on avoiding getting caught or hurt. According to the report, “some teens debated drug legalization and the drinking age. Other teens recounted their partying experiences, including sexual liaisons while drunk or high.” The teens worked to disguise their messages about drug use to keep their parents in the dark.

It all makes us wonder why we continue to be plagued by the scourge of drug use. When I was training as a therapist and specializing in addictions I recall my training supervisor telling us, “we use a simple and direct definition of an addiction. It is an impulse to change your mood.” I marveled at the simplicity and power of the definition. Immediately it occurred to me that this could describe an infinitely wide variety of activities - both healthy and maladaptive. I watch television to change my mood. I change my mood when I play golf or go to a social gathering.

Now obviously there appears a clear divide between constructive and destructive habits. Yet the line gets a bit fuzzy when considering use of television and the Internet. And what about work addiction? In fact, anything that consumes our time to the detriment of important personal and social responsibilities is an unhealthy approach to mood management.

And back to the issue of the teenagers and their online references to drugs and alcohol, what is really new here?

At a time when Americans are experiencing staggering levels of stress most of us are using some artificial strategy for coping. Some are using prescribed medications, others illicit drugs and the rest various other forms of distraction. But again, distraction from what? It seems to be the pressures of modern life that somehow overwhelm us.

For more on this story click here

Charlotte, North Carolina

It asks the question, what is it about animated characters that find an audience? And among all the talking dogs, cats and jungle animals, how in the world did a talking, two-dimensional clay figure become popular in the first place? With this we offer an analysis called: The Gumby Dynamic. We begin with a basic question: how do you see Gumby? Is he taffy? Is he putty? Is he plastic?
(If you thought metal or wood, you might want to consider being tested for perceptual difficulties)

Now let’s talk about you.

Think about the description above. Do any of these characteristics describe you? Are you a two-dimensional dullard who can be shaped or crushed by outside forces, all the while feeling a childlike inability to defend yourself? If so, you have Gumby Syndrome. And this is great news, because you have now defined your condition that is the first step in changing your life. See how quickly the science of Teletherapy begins the healing process?